The Incessant Ramblings Of A Man Named Aloosh

Getting into the groove

2010-04-16T09:44:00.000+10:00

In a bid to be less lazy on my holidays today i set an alarm to be up reasonably early. The problem is my body was still wide awake at 5am. I feel terrible.

Cat's cut

2010-04-15T17:07:00.001+10:00

I am applying firm pressure to a small cut on Cat's right hand. She was trying to whack my toes with my thongs and i was trying to step on the thongs to prevent her from hitting me. In the process i managed to remove a small portion of skin with my toe. She was pretty grossed out by me sucking her cut like i do my own. I suppose it is gross.

Big downloads

2010-04-15T16:58:00.000+10:00

A few days ago i downloaded just under 12GB in a 24hr period.

Married Life

2010-04-07T23:22:00.002+10:00

I haven't blogged in ages- I think kids have gotten over blogging and are all twitter/facebooking. Myspace seems a bit yesterday too. I have gotten very old.

Cat and I got married in January, I don't think I have blogged since then, so that's the big news to report. The other thing is that I am currently on holiday from work (holidays?) and we will be going to Vietnam and a few other South East Asian countries for Nhu and Mets' wedding, if I can pull my finger out and buy the tickets sometime soon. Cat and i went for some immunisation shots today- Tetanus, Hepatitis A and Typhus. We also have started oral medication for Cholera. Cat's first two attempts with the Tetanus hit blood vessels, so all in all she had 5 stabbings for 3 needles. She looked pretty bad, and was shaking all over. Mine went smoothly, worst part was taking the band-aids off of my hairy upper arms/shoulders. Ripped out a bunch of hairs. We still have to go back next week for our Flu shots, which includes the over-hyped Swine flu. All in I spent very nearly $500 on immunisations for the two of us. Eek.

My car was dropped off today for a service, I am picking it up tomorrow afternoon. I have caught many a train and walked to and fro many a train station.

In other news I have been buying gadgets. I bought an Ipod Touch 32GB, which is surprisingly good fun. I especially like taking it to my parents' house and checking emails, websites and whatnot while listening to music, reading a book or playing a game. Multitasking to the extreme. I also bought a Sony PS3, and a couple of games. I also have a few more on order, so that'll keep me busy for a while. I bought one for Cat called "Fairy Tale Fights" where you pick a fairy tale character like Snow White and go through some fairy tale land hacking everyone to pieces. I thought it was gonna blow badly, but Cat seems to like it and I don't mind watching her play it. She has become some full on gamer and can sit there for hours at a time. She is playing right now.

We have been watching a few 3D movies, namely Avatar and Alice in Wonderland. Maybe something else I can't remember. 3D is cool, but to be honest I think I might prefer the sharper image you get with 2D movies. Plus it is now crazy expensive.

So there you are, back into blogging, perhaps.

The haps with the craps.

2008-10-02T23:27:00.002+10:00

I turned 26 a few days ago. 26, pick up sticks.

On Sunday, which was my birthday, I was in some little shop in Newtown listening to the music overhead, and some boppy little number from some bygone era was playing. As the track was ending (I have no idea who the track was by) I started singing "She's not a girl who misses much. doo doo doo doo doo doo oh yeah" which was odd as it had nothing to do with the song and I haven't been listening to the Beatles or anything lately. 10 seconds later the next track starts, and there it is:

"She's not a girl who misses much, doo doo doo doo doo doo oh yeah"

How freaky is that? I somehow anticipated the next random song. Kat was less than impressed.

The next night Kat and I had dinner at La Guillotine. For our entrees we had a few different breads, mussels cooked in some creamy sauce and escargot cooked in garlic butter. Then as a main Kat had some lamb cutlets while I had a beef steak cooked with tarragon and shallots. Yum yum bubble gum.

On the next day (Tuesday the 30th) Kat and I were at the Japanese Gardens in Auburn practising taking pictures with my digital SLR (I bought it a few weeks ago) when we received a phone call from my sister Liz saying that Emma had given birth! I am now an uncle to baby Zakaria, and he has flared nostrils like a true Ajaj. Even though he's not actually an Ajaj.

The next day was our Eid and I was severely sleep deprived and got all light headed and fatigued and weakened. I've become a bit of a wuss these days.

Anyway, babies are cool.

Exorcisms the Ali way.

2008-09-12T22:19:00.002+10:00

My sister is having a baby. It's due in around a fortnight. It may be a girl or a boy. Or both.

Kat was asking my Mum if she was going to be present in the delivery room with Emma's husband. Mum said she thought she would be. They then discussed not wanting too many people present and other female matters. At this time i was washing my hands in the bathroom, and after finishing walked into the kitchen and put forth this offer:

"Mum, want to earn five dollars?"
"What?"
"I'll give you five dollars if you stand at the foot of the bed in the delivery room and chant over and over 'The power of Christ compels you'"

Mum refused.

Intravenous Musings

2008-09-12T22:13:00.002+10:00

Unfortunately i am going to be away from work in November when my work wanted me to undertake a cannulation course so that i can start stick needles in my patients at work. I'll be in Japan, woot!

I was reading up on cannulations and trying to learn the technique, when Kat saw me tapping my veins and pumping my fist to get them to swell with blood. She asked what i was doing and when i told her she asked if i wanted to practise on her. I said yes. She asked if it would hurt, and i replied that only a little, as i didn't have a cannula and was only practising the motions. She asked how much it would hurt and i said it would only hurt as much as me tapping her veins to make them visible. She seemed ok with that.

"Oh that's ok, I don't mind you tapping me."

World Youth Day Musings

2008-06-27T19:32:00.002+10:00

So i was showering, and i thought to myself "I'm a Catholic"

Well not really, but at least I'm a Cat-holic. Hahaha, i'm so witty.

But then i thought on it some more, and realised that if alcoholics are addicted to alcohol, Catholics must be addicted to Cathol. Not Cat.

I love Cathol.

I is sick

2008-04-02T23:34:00.002+11:00

I left work early today and went home with some throat infection going on... But anyway!!! Yesterday I went to the chemist in Liverpool to buy some cold and flu tablets and I saw condoms selling at 50 cents for a dozen. I should totally hand them out to the citizens of Liverpool. Well, at least the ones who hang out there.

Homecomings

2008-02-09T01:10:00.000+11:00

I just got back home from being out in the city havIng ice cream at French Riviera with Kat, Mai and Bren- as they are down from Brissy for the weekend. It's been a nice coupLe Of rainy days (read: really really wet) and this night was no different. After dropping eVeryonE home i got home myself and parked my Car in the gArage. I opened the booT so i could access tHe rEar headRests and lay them down low as they obstruct my rearward vIew wheN nobody is sitting in thEm. I then closed the boot and the garage door. I then head inside and went straight to the bathroom where i stripped oFf all my wEt clothes down to my boxers. I theN picked up my shoes, phone, keys and wallet and headed off towards my room. On the way i bumped into my mother in the kitchen.

"Hello Ali, how are you?"

"Wet, but Good"

"Oh, where have you been?"

"The city"

"Oh"

There was a bit of a pause before she added:

"Where are your clothes?"

Kaiju Big Battel

2008-01-07T10:25:00.000+11:00

It's a bit WTF, but then it does pass the time when you're at work and not particularly busy. Basically a bunch of guys dress up in weird Japanese Anime costumes (think bugs and bananas and crayfish) and hop in a steel cage and wrestle to weird Japanese hip hop/pop music. It is seriously dumb, and yet you can't look away.

Youtube has changed my world.

Lyrically Gifted

2007-06-26T18:12:00.000+10:00

As Kat and I munched upon a platter of pickled things while it rained outside i remarked:

The rain outside does pitter patter
as i pick upon my pickled platter.

Yeah, i'm awesome and stuff.

Fish magnet

2007-06-21T23:11:00.000+10:00

I've been doing a lot of evening shifts lately, so i haven't been seeing Kat in a while. She asked me if i could feed her fish- she plays this game:

It's called Insaniquarium. Anyway, she has a virtual tank and you've got to feed the fishes everyday. Otherwise they get grumpy pumpy. Like tamagotchis.

Trouble is, i forgot to feed them for many days. They were "quite hungry". I thought Kat was gonna kill me.

But then i had an idea! (insert light bulb here)

What if i skip the computer's clock forward a day and feed them. Then i could skip back and feed them again. The forward and feed, back and feed. I could feed them 5 days worth of food (pellets, little fish, fried chicken, pizzas and ice cream) in a few minutes!

And guess what!!! It works!!!

Now, don't tell Kat...

Bats and Breaks, err, Beats and Breaks?

2007-04-26T19:50:00.000+10:00

I haven't blogged in an age- there is a reason for that. I haven't felt like it.

In no particular order, significant happenings:

* My dad drove into the garage wall. It was odd, woke me up. He was returning home from getting a pink slip for said vehicle (which was my mum's relatively new camry), opened the garage door, then got back in the car and slammed into the wall. The wall backs onto my parent's bedroom wall, so for the past month or so they have been living in the living room. The guys have begun building on the wall today, and currently there is no wall separating the parent's room from the garage. It looks like a stage, and my parent's room seems smaller than i recall.

* I saw John Mayer and was very impressed. He puts on a great show.

* Bats seem to die across the road from my house on the telegraph wire. One died, and then the next day another died right next to it. Today i walked over to inspect and found a third dead bat on the ground below them. There was also what appeared to be a bit of bat fur not too far away from the third bat. Bat cemetery.

* Kat and i celebrated our two year anniversary. We ate Ryan's magic mushrooms. This was ate the Libertine restaurant in Kings Cross, not some psylocibe mushrooms.

* I bought a new bike. Kona Dew FS, for those interested in such affairs.

* I have a hammock. Haven't used it in a while now, but it rocks.

*Kat and i watched "300" at the Imax cinema. It was big.

* I now watch a cartoon called "The Venture Bros". Watch it if you can!

Racist Love Games

2007-01-04T19:56:00.000+11:00

Kat and Ali fight:

1. Kat asks why there is a girl in Liz's room.
2. Ali says it must be the Nutrimetics girl.
3. Kat says but she's Muslim, I didn't know Muslim's sold Nutrimetics, I thought they just had babies and cooked and stuff.
4. Ali gives Kat a wide eyed death stare and clenches his jutted out jaw whilst Kat stands against the cupboard tittering cheekily and playing with blue tac.
5. Ali exhibits male dominance by ordering Kat to the floor, "GET ON THE FLOOR NOW!"
6. Kat flippantly refuses and continues to mold blue tac.
7. Ali stands up and strides towards Kat in one fluid motion, grinding Kat's foot in the process.
8. Kat screams and falls to the floor in agony and tries to reach for maimed foot.
9. Ali blocks access to foot by holding Kat down and laughing into her face.
10. Kat flails as searing pain jolts through her and comments on how much it hurts and how her immune system is shot as all her defence mechanisms are concentrated down at her foot trying to salvage the ruins and how the pain is ebbing through her like rippling tides wave after wave...
11. Ali perfectly replicates Kat's words as she says them, as Kat flounders and bubbles limply.
12. Kat attempts one last stab at Ali by informing him she has stuck the ball of blue tac onto his hair.
13. Ali asks if Kat is kidding.
14. Kat says no.
15. Ali pulls blue tac out of hair and sticks blue tac onto Kat's hair.
16. Kat does not care as her foot is still on fire.
17. Kat sits up, Ali reminds her that the blue tac is in her hair.
18. Kat tells Ali to get it out.
19. Ali tries and realises it is stuck as he had rubbed the blue tac into the hair near Kat's scalp.
20. Ali laughs nervously as he slowly rips the blue tac out of Kat's head reassuring her that it is indeed coming out.
21. Kat tells Ali that blue tac is the hardest thing to get out of hair - worse than gum and that that is why she only stuck the blue tac in a huge ball on the ends of Ali's hair for easy removal.
22. Kat watches as Ali plucks hair out of the chunks of blue tac whilst in the same breath saying says no hairs are being lost.
23. Kat says she is going to end up with a patch of spiky hairs sticking up from her scalp.
24. Ali ends up getting most of the blue tac out.
25. Kat asks if is this Ali's plan to keep her out of sight in the kitchen by maiming and disfiguring her.
26. Kat asks if she has a bald spot now, Ali says just a little one.
27. Ali gives Kat a kiss on the cheek for her woes.
28. Kat reluctantly gives Ali a kiss on the cheek for his troubles but it is more so she doesn't get her foot stamped on again.

(As told by Catherine Feng)

Ali's Version:
1. Kat was like, naughty and stuff.
2. I fixed her proper.
3. Ali resolves all conflict, the commoners rejoice "Hark, the herald angels sing".

Borat

2007-01-01T23:43:00.000+11:00

New Year's

2007-01-01T16:53:00.000+11:00

I spent my new year being run off my feet at the hospital. It sucked. And then it poured rain on my way home. What a contrast to last year's 40 degrees plus weather start...

There's a bear in there...

2006-11-22T00:09:00.000+11:00

My sister bought a new kitten... his name is Bear... he is a Russian Blue crossed with a Persian or Siamese or something... He's pretty cool...
Here are a bunch of pictures of Emma and Khaled (that's her husband, in case you don't know- complete with some lovely red pimply/scratchy dots on his forehead) holding the little blighter... he's pretty funky...

My xanga

2006-11-17T01:46:00.000+11:00

A little known fact is that i also have a blog over on xanga.com. It's a private blog however, meaning only Kat and myself can read it, i think. Needless to say it doesn't get many looks... Plus i have only got one entry, and this is that very entry, written on the 21st of May, 2005.

I really need to update it...

The Fencing Shrew.

Here is the tale of the fencing shrew, Douglas "Madness" Malone.

Douglas was a noble character, forever choosing right over wrong, attending all his school classes, never giving his elders any trouble. He was mindful of others. He was polite. He was studious. He was obliging.

But most of all...

Douglas kicked ass!

You see, Douglas trained for years to become a champion fencer, and a champion he most certainly was. He could thrust, he could do the balestra, he could throw a coup lance', he could parry or throw the riposte. He enjoyed froissement. He relished the passata-sotto. He was one crazy fencing shrew.

Shrews are not designed for fencing. They are grubby little mammalian critters better suited for digging and eating worms, but Douglas was special. Special in that his grubby little worm-grabbing paws somehow managed to hold a fencing sword- even though the sword weighed about three times his weight and was approximately five times his length. Douglas had killer forearms. He was one crazy fencing shrew.

The morning of his third birthday (which made him quite grown up, for shrews do not live too long) Douglas was trotting down the country lane near his cottage when he encountered a rabbit in obvious despair.

"Say you, rabbit Sir- what might be your trouble?" Douglas said in the most noble of noble manners.

"Alas, woe and aye carumba! My left rear paw, my good hopping paw, seems to be caught in some manner of weed. A creeping, crawling, entangling, jungle vine of a weed! You must assist me, for if I am to remain entrapped here forever I shall surely die of starvation! Or at least boredom, as my books, toys and stamp collection are two miles away down that road!" The rabbit yelped, casually indicating with a wave of his paw the general direction of his home.

Now, Douglas was a noble shrew, not at all a shrewd shrew, and the thought of robbing the poor, trapped rodent's home never crossed Douglas' mind. Instead, he sat down by the rabbit, to deliberate. To pontificate. Douglas thought and thought. He explored every avenue. He thought of intricate plans to rescue the rabbit, only to realise at the final moment the shortcomings of his plans. For instance, he thought of dropping a monstrous boulder onto the weed, destroying it and releasing the rabbit- except for the fact that the rabbit would also be destroyed.

"Err, how about you use your fencing sword to cut the weed, thus releasing me and ensuring that the world sees yet another day of this fine rodent." Suggested the rabbit.

Suddenly a flash of lucidity overcame the shrew, and he yelled:

"I shall use my sword!"

The rabbit sighed indignantly, but was pleased all the same, for with one fell swoop he was freed from his weedy entanglement.

"Come to me, O' noble shrew, for within my pocket, is a gift for you" Quoth the rabbit in exquisite rhyme.

Douglas stepped forward, and accepted from the rabbit, a gift of bewildering spectacle.

"For you," said the rabbit "I have a gift of this- magic hair. This afro wig is most magical."

"Wow!" Exclaimed Douglas, as he placed the wig upon his crown. "But why is it magical?"

"Ok. I lied. It's not at all magical. But you have to admit, a shrew with an afro is pretty rockin'!" admitted the rabbit.

And he was most right. A shrew with an afro is definitely most rockin'.

Douglas rocks.

One Way Ticket To Hell... And Back

2006-11-02T02:17:00.000+11:00

Justin Hawkins has left The Darkness, i found his reasons for doing so pretty interesting...

Hawkins in 'I quit' shocker

JUSTIN HAWKINS has sensationally revealed he blew more than £150,000 on cocaine in the past three years – during a secret battle with chronic drug addiction and alcoholism.

The Darkness frontman, 31, decided to talk openly about his cocaine shame in a moving interview to warn others about the dangers of drugs.

Justin also delivered the shocking news that he is QUITTING the band – which will carry on without him.

The singer – renowned for his outrageous catsuits – has been clean for nine weeks after undergoing intense treatment at the famous Priory clinic in Roehampton, London.

The extent of his cocaine and booze problem will shock fans of The Darkness – who cracked the charts in 2003 when their single Growing On Me debuted at No11.

Weeks later their album Permission To Land went straight in at No2 before reaching the top spot, shifting 1.5MILLION copies in the UK alone.

On the surface, Justin seemed to be living the rock dream. But privately he was struggling to cope with the pressures of fame.

He sought solace in cocaine and vodka, covering up the extent of his use to even his closest mates and family.

Justin confessed: "I hit absolute rock bottom. I spent over £150,000 on cocaine in three years – a frightening amount. I was consuming up to five grams a day which cost me £1,000 a week, sometimes more.

"I regularly used to stay up for four days at a time on coke and alcohol binges.

"I became secretive, volatile and verbally abusive, a really unpleasant person to be around. There were lots of periods I don't even remember, blackouts.

"I couldn't even tell you how much I was drinking – it was all day when we were on tour. My weapon of choice was vodka. It has affected every aspect of my life, with the band and my girlfriend Sue."

Justin's addiction became so bad that all he cared about was getting his next fix of the white powder.

The guitarist, who grew up in Lowestoft, Suffolk, organised his entire life around the drug.

Justin confided: "It affected every single decision I made. Everything was decided on the basis that I wanted to take cocaine at some point.

"I would demand that we were the first on at awards shows so that I could get on with my drinking and drugging.

"I feel like I've lost three years of my life. I'm only just coming to terms with what has happened because I was always off my face."

Justin is relieved the drug has not made his nose totally disintegrate – unlike other famous cocaine casualties including Danniella Westbrook and Status Quo's Francis Rossi, who both destroyed their septums, the flesh dividing the nostrils.

He explained: "On the surface my nose looks OK but there are problems higher up. I'm lucky I still have a septum. It was always terribly sore but I would just take more cocaine to kill the pain. I was constantly blowing out blood.

"And it played havoc with my eating habits. Some days I ate nothing and others I ate constantly."

Justin started taking cocaine when The Darkness first attracted attention in 2002 with debut single I Believe In A Thing Called Love, which charted outside the Top 40. The re-release of the song the following year saw them claiming No2 in the singles charts – followed by prizes at the Brits and MTV Europe Awards as well as a Mercury Prize nomination.

Justin's addiction grew at an equal pace to his band's fame.

He explained: "Initially it was a huge slab of fun. We performed with heroes like Def Leppard and we had control over what we were doing. All my dreams came true. We did the private jets and fancy hotels. I bought designer clothes and expensive guitars. I headlined the Reading Festival.

"But the simple truth of it is that when you realise your dreams they are not special any more, particularly when you are in the midst of addiction.

"We never really had a chance to sit back and enjoy things. It all happened so quickly. And I never coped with it all as well as I thought I would.

"I went through a period of doing drugs during shows. I would come off stage and do a line and then go back on. But it affected my voice so I switched to starting the minute I came off stage. I wouldn't stop until I blacked out. Every day focused around drink and drugs.

"I'd have a stash of drugs which I'd use myself and a stash I shared with other people."

Despite all my years on the showbiz circuit, Justin's revelations come as a real shock to me.

I first met the singer before The Darkness were even signed and immediately fell for their refreshing brand of old-school rock.

I've followed his career closely since, interviewing him many times. I never saw any signs of his secret snorting.

But looking back there was a glaringly obvious clue on the band's second album One Way Ticket To Hell …And Back.

The title track starts with the sound of someone snorting a line of coke and is clearly about the Class A narcotic. When I challenged Justin about the song after the album's release last November, he brushed it off before talking about the dangers of cocaine.

Now he admits the song is "of course, thoroughly autobiographical" and told me, "There is no time I've met you when I was not using it". He continued: "But you have to understand that I have always publicly had a very anti-drugs stance – for the right reasons. My family has been affected by heroin in the past. A close family member was addicted.

"That is one of the reasons I found it hard to be open about it. It flew in the face of my moral code and my values."

Things reached crisis point for Justin this summer. The second album had not done as well as the band had hoped, peaking at No11, and Justin was no longer happy in the band.

He toyed with the idea of leaving last year and even released a solo single – a cover of Sparks' hit This Town Ain't Big Enough For Both Of Us – which reached No6. But then The Darkness set off on another major world tour … and Justin's addictions got even worse.

In August he pulled out of a festival in Denmark and checked himself into rehab.

He said: "I started to hear voices. I thought my dad was speaking to me and he wasn't even there. And I was starting to hallucinate."

But it was only when he got to The Priory clinic that he realised just how bad the situation had become.

Justin said: "I thought I'd go in, do a lap of the grounds and come back out.

"But I got in there and broke down. I was shaking like a leaf and going through cold turkey.

"So I joined the month-long addiction treatment programme. It was exhausting.

"People have this unfair view of places like The Priory as a holiday camp for celebrities. But the work they do there is so important.

"There were people from all walks of life – housewives and builders.

"We had nothing in common other than drink and drugs but I made friends for life. I'd love to become a counsellor."

During his spell in rehab, Justin made the difficult decision to quit the band he formed with brother Dan and best friend Ed Graham. They will carry on without him – with bass player Richie Edwards (who took over from Frankie Poullain in May last year) expected to take over as the frontman. Justin said: "I feel bad for the others. It will be an upheaval. But it's time for me to move on.

"It would be damaging to my recovery to stay on. I'm not blaming the band for my problem – I am an addict. There are people who can be in bands and stay clean, but I'm not one of them.

"I am going to do a solo record at some point and get into scoring films. But this is all new so the future is still uncertain."

Justin's main goal right now is to save others from the nightmare of cocaine addiction. He added: "I have to say please avoid getting into it at all costs.

"Let's not pretend – there are upsides to drugs. It's a thrill, a bit naughty.

"But you pay a price. You lose a massive chunk of your life – and money."

Although Justin is still in the early stages of recovery, he is buzzing with excitement about his new, clean life of domestic bliss with girlfriend Sue Whitehouse, manager of The Darkness.

He enthused: "It sounds stupid but I now get a thrill from things like putting on a cashmere cardigan and feeling how soft it is. I never used to notice things like that. I moved into a lovely house a couple of years ago but I'm only enjoying it now. Everything used to be at arm's length and numbed. I feel like I have woken up from a stupor. My gran died recently and I was really upset. Before I would have self-medicated to block it out.

"I don't feel cured, though – you never do. I go back to The Priory from time to time and attend meetings. But I am feeling things for the first time in ages."

The Floss Incident

2006-10-23T03:42:00.000+10:00

The other day after eating a steak i had this massive hunk of fat stuck in my teeth, so i bought some floos and proceeded to walk around the city/Hyde Park with my hands all up in my grill... Earlier on i was flossing at home, and right down the middle of my top teeth i slipped...

It looked even cooler at first, but i must have swallowed some of the blood...

Eid Mubarak to all!

My Gay Crow Shoes

2006-10-18T00:34:00.000+10:00

Kat and i went shopping the other day, and i got a lot of clothes and shoes and stuff... Kat bought me these girly crow shoes... They're actually pretty nice, but yeah, my family thinks i'm a little odd for buying girly shoes... I've always actually preferred girls' shoes, but yeah, these ones are actually for blokes... Metrosexual blokes i guess...

Sad News and Stuff

2006-10-13T02:36:00.000+10:00

Haven't written in a while... sad stuff been happening...

*My birthday passed on the 28th of September. On the night of the 26th my cat Moo was hit by a car. She suffered two fractured legs, a lacerated colon and her pelvis was fractured in four places. We had to put her down on the morning of the 27th.

She was such a trooper, she crawled back to our driveway, where Kat and i found her just as i was about to drive Kat home. She let us console her and we drove her to the animal emergency hospital. Some nights I would look to Angel's bed, and there she would be lying, then to Snoop's, and there he'd be. Finally i'd look to Moo's and i'd get that tinge of sadness. Funny, i'd managed to keep all the tears in, as i scooped her up to take her to the vet, whilst digging her grave, and whilst burying her- but they came out just then. We planted a rose bush over her grave.

*Snoop has taken to sleeping in Moo's old bed place. Either he misses her, or he was just waiting on her to leave so that she could fill that prime real estate.

*Both Snoop and Angel seemed to hover around Moo's grave site for a few days following her death.

*I bought an mp3 player and new earphones. It sounds so good. The earphones i mean. They are Shure e4c's. They retail for something over $400. My mp3 player is the Creative Zen Vision :M. It's pretty cool. I think i'll now be taking to ripping my cd's at studio quality levels of encoding, the earhpnes really show up everything...

*I bought some plain black slip-on Vans today, mainly for work. I had horrible luck finding the shoes i wanted. It turns out that i am now a size 12, maybe a size 11 if i'm lucky. I couldn't find my Puma Future Cats in my size. Nor could i get the Sperry Modern Amusement "Crow shows" that Kat wanted to get for me. Nor the funky green/white Lacoste sneakers we found.

*I'm currently listening to M.I.A "Bucky Done Gun". She sucked when we saw her at Big Day Out last year... Her album is interesting though...

*I need to donate some money to a charity (i'm fasting at the moment and one of the things we're supposed to do is donate to charity) but all the charities i have looked into donating to seem to be on list for accusations of links to terrorism. And frankly, i don't want anything to do with that. I'll probably end up sending money to my relatives in Lebanon- the country's been having a bit of a rough time and all...

*I'm going to see Muse and Little Britain next year- and maybe the Big Day Out if i can get tickets in a few hours, Julia-willing...

*Now am listening to TLC's "Red Light Special", which i think is a super sexy song, and once described this album as a story book for life- hahahaha...

I'm freezing and losing my way

2006-09-07T22:58:00.000+10:00

Last night Mum told me she called up one of those late night game show thingies- her answer was broccoli. She didn't win anything, or get through for that matter... I'm sure she paid some exorbitant fee for calling though.

I've been doing uni work again. Haven't done this in years. I kind of enjoy it actually. Although it gets a bit tiring when i've been getting home from work at about 7pm, and then been up for 4 or so hours reading and typing away. Ah well, it's not so bad.

Last night's wind blew over Mum's palm tree, which was in some large pot that cracked... So it looks like i am buying a new pot over the weekend :)

Ok, back to work.

Shaving Man

2006-09-03T03:07:00.000+10:00

I've got a bit of a beard lately. But my neck area has been shaved quite regularly- so my beard is rather neat. I have been trying various products, and it seems that you really do pay for quality. I've been using a Proraso branded pre- and after- shaving cream to prep my beard, and then the Proraso shaving cream applied with my badger brush- it's an old school barber sort of shaving. I just tried using an oil, by Somerset's. Wow. They are so nice! You can feel the oil moisturising as you shave. I need to sleep!

Ze bike is goneski

2006-08-29T23:14:00.000+10:00

Well, this morning as i lay in bed Mum walked in and asked:
"Where'd you put your bike?"
So i pondered it for a moment, and then replied:
"Well, it must have been stolen"

My bike had been sitting pretty in my backyard for a while now, unused due to poor weather and sickness and lack of time, and now some loser dude has run off with it. The annoying thing is that the little plastic connector thing for my headlamp was still attached, so now i've got an expensive headlamp with nowhere to stick it. They left my helmet behind. Which was sitting on the handlebars- so they would have had to take it off before heading off. I hope they fall on their head and humpty dumpty.

Back in my day, we didn't lock the doors, and bikes could be left strewn across the front lawn for days on end without fear of theft.

Australia, you've changed.

Hair Bear... No More!

2006-08-29T17:31:00.000+10:00

Lazy blogs these days... So basically i cut my hair, and then grew a beard... And i got really sick... Well, not really really sick, but sick enough for a sickie...

Hair Bear

2006-08-17T00:44:00.000+10:00

Your Name Is Liar!

2006-08-16T00:38:00.000+10:00

watch who's comin at you
why? who's got the power?
watch who's comin at you
if you might allow her
watch who's comin at you
why? who's comin through?
one, a bit right then we got two
watch who's comin at you
but don't fuss
watch who's gonna get you back on the bus
watch you change your lightbulb
then you take a shower
watch who's comin at you
why? who's got the power?

Who understands what the Go! Team are on about? Not me...

In Hornsby there is a Pets Paradise that has many poodle x breeds i wouldn't mind having.

1. Bichoodle. Bichon Frise x Poodle
2. Cavoodle. Cavalier Spaniel x Poodle.
3. Groodle. Golden Retriever x Poodle.
4. Japoodle. Japanese Spitz x Poodle.
5. Lhapoo. Lhasa Apso x Poodle.

Still in Hornsby, i had the following conversation with a marketing woman:

"Can i ask you a quick question?"
"Sure"
"Are you 24 or over and working full time?"
"Sorry?"
"Are you 24 or over and working full time?"
"No."

She then looked at me like i was lying and i walked off. But it's true! True, i didn't elaborate and tell her that i am only still 23, but then again, she didn't ask...

I walked past again an hour or so later and she asked me again, so i told her you already asked me all this...

Peyow peyow peyow!!!

Oh, i saw Footy Legends... It's a bit ordinary... Although we spotted Sally, with Nhuy and Sarah... Sally didn't look too enthusiastic, although i did notice her hopping on the spot at one stage... I think she was jumping for joy, but yeah, barely got off the ground ;p

Love is only a feeling
(Drifting away)
When I'm in your arms I start believing
(It's here to stay)
But love is only a feeling
Anyway

Don't drive into cars, it'll hurt your being...

2006-08-03T17:47:00.000+10:00

Today i drove behind a car which was veering off into the incoming lane. It was kind of scary watching near-hit after near-hit.

I didn't say near-miss. It was in fact a 'miss'.

On the rare occasions where the double line would appear in the middle this car would be a good foot or two over it.

The Thirtieth Day, Of The Month Of Julius

2006-07-30T23:03:00.000+10:00

Every 30th of July, Kat and i draw portraits of each other, and this year has been no different... to last year, the only other time we've actually participated in this 'tradition'.

I kicked off proceedings with a quick pic of me as a Don Juan-esque character for Kat to adorn her walls with beauty.

Next up Kat and i both drew at the same time. She said i moved too much so she became frustrated with me. I tried really hard... but i am a bit of a crap drawerer. Here are the fruits of the first round:

I think Kat made me look like a bit of an emu. She said she was trying to capture the 'sexy' look i try to pull off. She certainly got that right. My pursed lips and flared nostrils are hot to trot, especially when accompanied with my pointy eyebrows.
My picture of Kat looks nothing like her. Yet it looked like someone. I couldn't tell who, but then i thought- Helena Bonham-Carter! And then later, after googling Helena and perusing her pictures, I decided no, alas! My picture in fact resembled Kat's younger sister, Olivia!

Kat then composed a portrait of me, this time I put down my drawing board and sat as still as I could (not very). Somewhere along the line Kat made a mess of it, so instead she decided it would be a picture of a man, based on me. I think it looks sexy.

Finally I did a picture of Catherine, I decided to hammer this one out in less than a minute, and so it began. Using crafty speed I concocted this creation:

I think she looks like one of Roald Dahl's Twits. Nevertheless, she is beautiful, as we are both.

Awake Is The New Sleep

2006-07-18T04:14:00.000+10:00

Pfft.

I'm awake and it sucks. I did a few night shifts and slept terribly where i should have slept well, then proceeded to wake up at 5:37pm on Monday afternoon after being in bed for something like 15 hours. Now i am over-slept and awake as can be, yet still feeling very tired.

I have a cut on my right palm from where i got angry with a pot plant and tried to smash the pot. I won in the end. The plant was relocated to a larger pot, where hopefully it will lead a fulfilling life. Although it was a palm, and palms get a bit finicky about relocating...

I watched Hard Candy with Kat, it was uncomfortable at times. Although i noticed that later on as everyone else became more uncomfortable with the movie i relaxed and found it less difficult to watch. Pedophilia = bad. Revenge = good. Well, not really. Except for the pedophilia i mean. That is bad.

I bought a new comb the other day (actually i think i paid for it with Kat's money), in fact i bought two combs. One is a super wide toothed shower comb, complete with a curled handle so you can hang it from a shower rack. The other is a detangling comb, with weird shaped teeth. It's like two sets of opposite facing waves of wide spaced teeth, all meeting somewhere in the middle. Anyway, it works on my unruly hair, so what do you know?

I am thinking about purchasing a PDA in the not too distant future, which might do some good for helping me to organise my life. I'm more interested in using it as another MP3 player and for satellite navigation type purposes. Boys and their toys, eh?

Speaking of toys, i found a shop that sells pocket bikes in Lakemba. A pocket bike is one of those mini motorbikes, if you were wondering. I don't think i'll get one of those though, i don't have a farm or anywhere suitable to ride it. Oh well.

Ali the Serial Watcher

2006-07-13T15:45:00.000+10:00

I just finished watching the last ever episode of That 70s Show, meaning i watched eight season in their entirety. I even got a little misty eyed. I feel like i'm missing my friends or something, it's weird. Meanwhile, wouldn't it be nice to look hot for the summer? I might clip my fingernails again!

Clip Clip Clip

2006-06-15T17:44:00.000+10:00

I haven't blogged in ages, because i have been nursing a broken heart.

False!

Anyway, all i want to talk about is soemthing i picked up a week or two ago while meandering around at the end of my lunch break. I had already eaten a kebab or something of the sort and figured i had a few minutes to kill so why not pop into Priceline, which is like, totally the funnest shop in the world? Lies.
Anyway, into Priceline i went, a man totally without agenda. I looked at crap for cleaning my face and other retarded nonsense, when i chanced upon the male grooming section, in particular the nail clippers and shaving gear. I bought myself some nail clippers a few weeks back, getting a pair of clippers, some toe nail clippers, a file and some tweezers. Anyway, my eyes fell upon another pair of clippers, these ones weren't advertised as being toe nail clippers (which i now love, because my nails are becoming man sized and no longer the little nails my mum used to cut with a pair of scissors and wow did that ever hurt- mum, why were you so rough with my little feet?) although they were about the same size and could easily be used for that purpose. No, these ones were advertised as clippers with a 'nail catcher'. Why didn't someone think of this a long time ago? The aluminium came in a nice matte finish as well, my sexiest ever nail clipper. There is really something special about being able to clip your nails while sitting on your bed, and not have to worry about your nails being flung about willy-nilly. And then there's the scrambly sound you get when you empty the catcher receptacle in the bin. Wow.

My Dad Totally Owns A Dealership

2006-05-11T01:19:00.000+10:00

Aqua Teen Hunger Force!

Watch that episode while it's still being hosted!

Sore Back Boy

2006-05-10T23:50:00.000+10:00

I did some gardening today, which consisted of shovelling mulch into a wheelbarrow and trekking down to the backyard and dumping it, then going back up and getting another barrow full... i did this for hours...

The electrocuted trees in my backyard were chopped down today, that was sad. Not really, they were dead. But i guess it was sad to see a part of my childhood memories being torn down. Although the sun now shines into my yard rather nicely.

I went for a midnight bike ride last night, it's easy to get pretty far pretty quick.

Also went for another ride today to the shops in Auburn, some kid pointed out my helmet to his dad. I felt really cool.

Derailed

2006-05-08T16:49:00.000+10:00

I fixed the gears on my mountain bike today.

Oh yeah, i bought a mountain bike last monday. It cost me $200 and it has all the usual tricks, like 21 gears and brakes. Brakes! It also has front and rear suspension- that's something that wasn't around the last time i rode a bike, back in 1971. Or 1994. Or something. The rear supension is also adjustable, although i'm yet to really play with it and determine how gimmicky that really is. I think once my warranty has expired on my Clio i might get some coilover suspension for it, hopefully something adjustable. Although i might be a parent by then so you never really know. Anyway, back to the bike. It's actually the first bike i've owned that has gears, my brother had one back in the day, but then i wasn't really big enough to ride that comfortably and i was too young to understand how the gears worked anyway. But my word, aren't they fun!

Except that they didn't work.

The bloke at the bike shop warned me that the gears would probably play up and i should bring it back and he'd adjust it free of charge. But the bike shop is all the way back in Liverpool.

Oh yeah, last monday i went for a walk at lunch and discovered the 'other' side of Liverpool. It's strange because basically in all the time i've been at Liverpool hospital i've never journeyed over to the 'other' side, and there's some pretty cool shops and stuff over there. Anyway, so i walked over on monday and found the bike shop (i also found a sports equipment place, and i might buy a bench press so i can get big muscles bro) and went in and found a bike, and told the bloke i'd train it in to work tomorrow and buy the bike then. In true Ali style i got impatient, and so basically by the time i got back to work i had decided i wanted it then. So i left work a little bit early and raced over to the shop, bought the bike and a helmet, and then rode back to my car. It was weird (and kind of scary) riding after all that time. Now i pop mad wheelies in my backyard, they're sick. And i am totally gonna nail some endos. And break my clavicle.

Kissing the curve of your clavicle!

I stuffed the bike into the boot of the corolla somehow and drove to Kat's, and then home. When i got home i wheeled the bike into the living room, because the bike was "going to stay inside with us". The bike now lives in the laundry.

Anyway, the gears work by controlling two ring sets. Left hand knob controls the ring set attached to the pedals (three rings) and the right hand controls the ring set attached to the rear wheel (seven rings). If you want to get a bit of push in your pedal but not much top speed (good for hill-climbing) you'd select the small ring at the pedals and the larger ring at the rear wheels. If you want a higher top speed (but it is hella hard to take off from a standstill) you'd do the opposite. This provides a higher gear ratio. And this is where it all becomes so much fun! Basically a higher gear ratio means that for every single turn of the pedals the chain will in turn spin the rear wheels a few times. So a high speed is achievable, but because the front gear is so small in comparison with the rear more effort is required for that one cycle. This explains why buses have such big steering wheels, the bus is damn heavy and to make the steering lighter a larger wheel is used (steering in cars also uses gears, but in different configurations depending upon the setup), although if you've ever watched a bus driver you'd have noticed that they need to turn the wheel and awful lot. Less effort, more turns. Or more effort, less turns. Pick your poison!

To move the chain from one ring to another (the rings are sprockets, by the way, with sharp teeth!) a derailleur is employed. What this is is basically a little arm controlled by the knobs on the handle bars that pushes the chain from one sprocket to another, since the gears have teeth and the chain has spaces for the teeth, the chain catches and pulls itself up onto the next gear. The change is a little bit jerky and slightly disconcerting, but now that i understand it it's joyous!
Initially my bike would not select the higher gear in the front, then i adjusted it and it wouldn't select the lower gear. Today i got it just right, and even found out that the rear derailleur wouldn't select the lowest gear, and sorted that too. Fixing it involves loosening the cables and starting from the beginning, in the lowest gear, and adjusting the derailleur's low gear screw until it's just right, then tightening the cable and selecting the highest gear and adjusting the high gear screw on the derailleur.

A bunch of laps of the backyard in what i describe as R&D (research and development) to ensure i got it right and whammo, i'm a bike genius.

Meanwhile i spoke to a real estate agent today so hopefully i'll find a tenant for my flat soon, and while poisoning some weeds for my mother i spilt a whole bunch of the chemical on my foot, and then i got all paranoid and thought my foot was burning (at least, i hope it was all in my head).

Look to the skies!

Ali's Spider Sense

2006-05-08T16:30:00.000+10:00

Or Sixth Sense. Call it what you will.

Last night as i was driving home from work the roads were quite empty (as one would expect at what was actually 12:30am on a Monday) and so i decided to do a little pretending i was a race car driver. I don't mean i was speeding like an idiot, flying around corners etc. See, i like all things mechanical, they make me excited (i got all woo woo woo over a lathe i saw at Jaycar yesterday), so i get a kick out of listening carefully to the engine under throttle, dabs, dribbles and wide openings. I like to double clutch and heel-toe, and laugh at myself when mis-shift. All terribly uncool stuff, but anyway...

Anyway, i was doing this stuff, admittedly a tad over the limit, when my spider-sense kicked in. And i slowed down. This happens to me often, it really is strange. Anyway, i slowed down and looked in the rear-view and saw two headlights far back behind me. The headlights got closer and closer, and then red and blue lights flashed and the car high-beamed me repeatedly. I pulled over and the police car flew past me. They probably wouldn't have stopped me even if i had continued speeding, as it was fairly obvious they were going somewhere in a hurry. Still, my spider sense is strange.

My bladder hurt after that.

MI:3

2006-05-06T00:57:00.000+10:00

So i was watching Mission Impossible 3 with Katerpilla and Tom Cruise marries his doctor girlfriend at the hospital (???) and then they decide to go at it in the supply room... and that's when i turn to Kat and say:

You use the latex gloves for condoms, like five times...

Really?!?!

No.

Well, it happened something like that...

beers, bongs and bbqs

2006-04-28T18:41:00.000+10:00

I just walked out of my bedroom and the fam was watching one of those current affairs programs (today tonight, a current affair?) that i absolutely hate, the story was about migrants not knowing australian values... They had these poor import dudes stumped as they asked them questions like what day is Australia Day. Turns out my grandfather didn't know either. My English grandfather. Who has lived here for like 40 years and all... I couldn't help but think that they should just let these dudes be, pay for their kebabs and leave. I hate those current affairs programs. They're so BS.

I've been reading again, yay to books :)

I drove over to Waitara today to get the ECU housing on my car replaced, i had also ordered a bolt for the engine cover, and that cost me a grand total of $2. I read in the coffee lounge while i waited for my car. That's when i noticed the coffee machine that could have made me a hot chocolate if it weren't for the fact that my tummy was sore because i stupidly gorged on salt and vinegar crisps this morning... don't even like them... My car alarm went off while they were working on it as they had to disconnect the battery...

I just went down the front to look at the cabling for the tv at my dad's request, and another current affairs program had Australia's happiest places to live- a story that's been rehashed a gazillion times.

I could sleep for millions of years.

You are the bluest light

2006-04-13T03:14:00.000+10:00

Kat and i were at the supermarket last night, buying some bread rolls and cranberry sauce, and some triple cream brie cheese. Omigosh buy some triple cream brie, it's yummo! Anyway, we ended up making some rolls with avocado, tomato, cucumber, lettuce, spanish onion, turkey and cranberry sauce, with a touch of cracked pepper and sea salt- superb. Anyway, as we were walking back from the supermarket this sultry female voice beckoned "do you want to ride on me?". Both Kat and i were shocked by this brazen attempt to pry me away from my lady love, and we looked over in the direction of the offending culprit. It was a car ride. One of those things kids put money in and then sit on as it rocks forward and back, as they pretend they are cruising down George street in their whip with all the chicken heads squawking.

Earlier on in the day i made some scrambled eggs with cheese and turkish sausage. It was also yummy. Also added some cracked pepper and sea salt, again.

Sea salt is fast becoming my favourite thing.

Morning Musume!

2006-04-12T12:38:00.000+10:00

I was google videoing for this vid of a citroen vs a boeing airplane, and somehow i came upon these Jap girls, from girl group Morning Musume doing some weird cat pose and meowing noises. Anyway, i watched a few more, and it's pretty amazing how they'll let themselves be totally humiliated on screen. For instance, one had to ride a rollercoaster and do some product placement at the same time, by the end of which she was crying because she was so terrified. And then this big bunny suit thing tells her she's failed and attaches some gizmo to her and gives her electric shocks! Another one had to ride an alligator. A freakin' huge alligator. Another girl said that she could ride it because she was wearing pants, and she just goes "yes" and goes and sits on it. They ask her what it feels like to sit on an alligator and she says that it is cold. I looked Morning Musume up on wikipedia because i was wondering who they were, and it turns out that they are only very young, which would explain them being stupid enough to do all that stuff. Although there was a video of them drinking tequila and burning their throats? Anyway, they're not very cool.

i still feel you and the taste of cigarettes

2006-04-12T01:14:00.000+10:00

Why can't things always stay the same he thought out loud, or at least he thought he did, but he was less sure of himself and everything else these days. Change wasn't something he welcomed nowadays, experience and the burning sensation that came with it had taught him better. But change is what he felt, and thinking that, or saying it out aloud, whichever he was doing right at this moment brought with it a tightening of his chest. Why does this feeling i get in my head make my chest physically ache? Why can't i let go? Why aren't i good enough?

Do you wanna come over and kill some time?

2006-04-11T19:38:00.000+10:00

I had some minor eye surgery yesterday. Well, really it was my eyelid, i had a chalazion, which is a blocked oil gland. causing a bump under my eye, and i got it cut out. It was weird, the doc gave me some anaesthetic eye drops, which stung a little, then injected more anaesthetic into my eyelid, then clamped the bump with this weird contraption, and made a little slip on the inside of my eyelid, and scooped the oily stuff out, and then scraped around to cause some scar formation. Now i have to heat it up with warm compresses and massage it...

I made some kick ass sandwiches today, like sub type sandwiches. They contained:
*Sea salt
*Cracked Pepper
*Avocado
*Tomato
*Cucumber
*Lettuce
*Green Capsicum
*Shaved Tasty cheese
*Peppered Mortadella

I ate like two feet.

Tomorrow i might scramble some eggs with Turkish Sausage, yummo.

I managed to network my xbox to my computer the other day, which took me a while as i was plugging into a network card i don't use at first, so no signal - *duh* Finally i figured i'd probably be better just going through my router, and hey presto! I was right. Unfortunately i lost all my saved games in the process of updating the dashboard on the xbox, so that is a minor annoyance.

I want to buy a pair of Puma Future Cats (that's my latest shoe of choice), except in Australia there is a very limited choice of styles and colours. I shall persevere nevertheless!

I might also buy a pair of footy boots while i am at it, because the studs make them look totally mean and they aren't very expensive, hehe. Plus then i can run really fast on grass! Wowsers!

My grandfather is recovering nicely from his hip replacement it seems, walking around and even making do without the cane on occasion. Hooray for Stan!

Like drinking poison, like eating glass!

I received a letter from the University of Sydney today, advising me that i have been accepted to begin my Masters of Health Sciences next semester, so it looks like i am a student again, i wonder if i get to use my old student number... Oooh, frat parties! Haha, whatever...

I bumped into my sister at Bankstown today, i was wandering around aimlessly looking for shoes, and she was doing married things like stopping in at MBF and Medicare. Which reminds me that i have to get some private health insurance.

My favourite witch.

Are you hoping for a miracle?

My Own Private K-Hole

2006-04-08T20:02:00.000+10:00

Today i bought conditioner for 50 cents. I was in disbelief. I even asked if that was correct. I also bought some body wash, a big bottle. That sorta leaked inside the plastic bag in which i was carrying it.
I poured Sprite all over myself today, that was gross.
There were two guys busking in the city today. Maybe South American or something. One with a guitar and the other with like a bongo drum. The guitarist sang as well, he had a nice voice actually... I gave them about three dollars because they played Bob Marley songs. And then they played a Bob Dylan song, and i thought, could they be any cooler?
I listened to the Arctic Monkeys today, finally. I have decided that theirs is a great album, like everyone said...
The other day i had a great traffic run, where the traffic would part before me and i would zoom on through.
I want a pair of Puma Future Cats. At first i wanted the older Speed Cat, but i've since decided i want the newer one.
In Myer today i saw a make up boy. You know how they always have those girls dressed in white lab coats that do make up, well he was one of the girls. Was funny.

Samurai Jack

2006-04-07T00:22:00.000+10:00

Today i sharpened my katana and went outside.
I stood before my huge Silky Oak tree.
It has been struck by lightning, and is now dead where it stands.
And i went spazoid, Tom Cruise in The Last Samurai style.

Meanwhile, today i told Thu and Vanessa that i was gonna ask my next elderly patient if she was wearing a bra (the metal clips show up on x-ray so they're a no-no if we're taking snappies of your chest area) and if she said no i was simply going to say niiiiiice in a sleazy voice and leave it at that.

This is the way I wanted it to be with you, This is the way that I knew that it would be with you...

2006-04-01T22:53:00.000+11:00

My Grandpa is at my house as of today, he has had a hip replacement on his left side and is back and stronger than ever, i watched him from my bedroom window doing laps of our outdoor table, i guess that's how he exercises. He seemed in good spirits, chatting with my uncle who is down from Mackay. He's a gardener, and kindly pointed out that two Silky Oaks (read: huge trees) in our backyard were struck by lightning, and that's why the leaves are turning brown. The tree is dead. Oh yeah, a few weeks back we were hit by lightning and lost lots of things including my bedroom light, two tvs, a dvd player, a modem, an internet router and apparently two huge trees.

Don't get shot, you might die.

It seems that some young men have been killed in the last few days, a few suburbs away from where we live. Apparently one was engaged to my dad's friend's daughter, and the other was a nephew of a family friend. My dad is up in arms. He's dumb-founded as to why young people want to get involved with the kind of trouble that can leave you dead.

He might be gay,
he might be gay.
Though you might wish it were another way,
truth be told, he might be gay.

I got my steering wheel replaced the other day, as the rubber thumb grip has been peeling for a long while. It was done under warranty, so no big issue there. Meanwhile i am getting a replacement housing for the ECU, as mine seems to have cracked. Oh yeah, my battery went flat the other day, after 14 months of ownership. That sucked. But i replaced it, and now am determined to get a yellow top battery when it next goes flat, because they last for damn near forever. Batteries are exciting.

Falling on knives is also bad for you.

Broken Doodle Man and his Ranting and Raving.

2006-02-02T02:32:00.000+11:00

I haven't really had anything to say in a long while, or perhaps it would be more truthful to say that i have just been too lazy to type anything on here. But instead i'll make up a brilliant lie about suffering from some kind of mental incapacitation...

About a month ago i was putting out the trash (must have been a Tuesday night, then, for our rubbish dudes come on Wednesday mornings...) and not wearing much more than my boxers, a singlet and a pair of thongs. As i was carefully negotiating the tight pathway up the side of my house with my wheelie bin in tow i planted my foot on something squishy which immediately gave way under my weight. I was sent crashing with an almighty thud and on the way down with the old gravitational thing going on i smacked my head against the wooden fence. This caused me to black out for a second and begin to dream of Jeannie, or perhaps it was Genies... Anyway, my mind was knocked about a bit, and for the next few days i was totally convinced i was a black man. In fact, i did become a black man, due to some bizarre pigmentation anomaly i came down with. For a good week i was as dark as Will Smith, who isn't the blackest of black men, but for me that was pretty dark.

So what did i do? Well, i danced the coolest i have ever danced, but that's another tale for another time.

Lies. Lies suck. Well, my lie wasn't too bad, because it was harmless. But other lies suck.

I went to the Big Day Out the other week, and i have to say that out of the three that i have attended over the past three years this was my least memorable. Well, it wasn't all bad, i got to hang out with a bunch of my mates... It's just that the music wasn't great, sound wasn't great and the crowd was pretty crappy. Very bogan-ish.

I like bananas.

We had some visitors over the other day, a married couple, and my Dad asked them why they didn't have any children, to which they replied that they didn't want any. My Dad then went on to grill them for ages, asking if the real reason was that they couldn't have any. He found it preposterous and impossible to believe that they could simply choose not to have kids. It was both amusing and embarrassing. Thing is, they weren't particularly young, it wasn't like they were kids and he was the adult schooling them. I tried to shift the conversation onto other things, with mixed success.

Kat's family had me come over on the Chinese New Year to eat some vegetables, which is apparently a tradition her grandmother used to do with her mother, and now her mother does it with her, or something like that. Anyway, they were the best damn mushrooms i have ever eaten!

I have been voted "Most likely to be eaten by own underpants" by Dolly magazine- the things these kids read!

Meanwhile last night we all went out for Nhu's birthday (apparently she turned 43 or something...) and we had Japanese... men. I had sushi and sashimi, which i shared with Kat.

I had a dream the other day where i was in trouble with the government for some charity thing i was doing with penguins in New Zealand. For some reason i woke up all worried, and really had to think it through before i decided that i didn't have anything to do with penguins or New Zealand. I told my sister Emma about this when i saw her (she's recently been in New Zealand, like days ago...) and she was like "Yeah, remember, you asked me when i was in new Zealand". I freaked for a second, and then i was like hang on. She got me there...

So... what have i been up to? None of your business, i says!!! Stop yelling at me...

2006-01-07T03:59:00.000+11:00

Okie dokes, i just kicked this wooden plank at the base of my bed and my nail split and now it stings and is bleeding.
I have also watched two seasons of That 70s Show.
I bought a handheld Sudoku game and it rocks for when i am at work in Theatres and there's some bloody operation going on and i am bored outta my brains.
My toe really hurts.
I like cartoons again.
I was nicer today- i've not been too nice lately so i am gonna try and watch that.
I am getting fat. I need some kind of sporting/physical activity.
I have been driving really slowly lately, and for some reason i seem to get everywhere much quicker... i am gonna keep it up.
My latest little quirk is that i dig high pressure water sprayers. I might buy a new one, even though we already have one and there are water restrictions. Loopholes...
I made iced tea today with a tea bag, some water and sugar. It was yum, surprisingly. I should have let the tea bag sit just a little longer, though.
I think my toe is purple now.
I think i'll shave tomorrow, and trim my goatee, 'cos i look sexy then. Gotta get right my sexy...

A while ago i made this thingy out of flower petals for Kat... Anyway i look foine in this shot. And yes i said foine. Say it like it's spelt. And now say Pachoong Malaktica. Now stop talking nonsense and peep my mad skills, baby!

Imagine it's a million years ago and you sitting there with your cow. You look at the cow, majestic creature... so huge, yet so gentle. Now suddenly you get an idea, you're gonna pull on one of her big ol' teats and drink the white liquid that squirts out. How the hell did the first person think of that one?

Aloosh and the Christmas Cheer

2005-12-24T00:31:00.000+11:00

Merry Christmas everyone, take care and i'll catch up with you all soon...

Or will i?

Perhaps i'll shrink into obscurity.

Maybe i'll become an abalone diver and get the bends.

Mmmmm abalone.

Anyway, take care this silly season, i'll write something on here soon.

I AM SOFA KING WE TODD ED

2005-12-20T00:30:00.000+11:00

Why'd they have to kill King Kong?

I hate the world.

Ahoy there!

2005-11-28T23:33:00.000+11:00

The Strokes

2005-11-24T13:41:00.000+11:00

Julia and i saw the Strokes last night, because she is a huge fan and i am in love with Julian Casablancas, and Fab as well... They were pretty good last night, at first they were playing songs from their new album, and it's always hard to understand their songs because the instruments always drown out Julian's vocals, so it helps if you actually know the songs. So they sung a few newbies and at ifrst i wasn't too impressed- but soon enough it was growing on me and i was enjoying it nicely. Julian (not Julia) was very drunk and was slurring his words and was very hard to understand- in between songs when he was talking anyway, when he was singing he was quite fluent.
While we were bopping along Julia told me she thought Jason Schwartzman was standing next to me, so i asked him and he replied in this whiny voice "I am!" He's rather short, but was very approachable and good to talk to. Julia swooned and followed him with her eyes, and once he walked off she looked suitably distressed, as she had to "protect him".
The Strokes sung a whole bunch of their old songs and the ugly chicks in the crowd did their drunken dancing- which i think they believed was quite sexy, but really it wasn't. That reminds me, the crowd was very Newtown for whatever reason (probably because they were all unemployed people who managed to hang out around Red Eye Records all morning to secure a ticket).
I like The Strokes.

Before she says it...

2005-11-23T23:51:00.000+11:00

Before Julia goes on about it, let it be known that i spoke to Jason first...

Kat and Ali have a blue...

2005-11-14T00:15:00.000+11:00

Kat: I'm stupid and i am crazy.
Ali: I agree...
Kat: Me too.
Ali: You don't have to agree, you said it...
Kat: Yeah, but i'm crazy!

Dufus

2005-11-03T20:23:00.000+11:00

Today i left work about 40 minutes after i had actually finished because i forgot what time i finished and thought i wasn't due to finish until an hour after i could have left.

Kat Lovings...

2005-11-03T01:10:00.000+11:00

"You never want to be gay with me"

-Kat to Ali.

Ali's Bleeding Heart

2005-11-01T23:31:00.000+11:00

I got a letter from Kat today- not a very happy letter either.Thing is, it comes at a time when i'm not feeling very great already. Comes at a time when i go and spend $300+ on this massaging thingy thinking it would be nice for my whole family, only to come home and find i have another $400 or so in bills for things related to my unit.
I feel miserable.
Time for the old 'knife over the wrists' trick i reckon.
I feel really low today, i think i have been spiralling to get here for some time over a week now. Been lonely and stuff, going out of my way to be there for people but really just trying to be there for myself. I don't think anyone noticed, though. Depressing. Lame.
Sometimes i get these puerile thoughts about how much life i could miss out on if i comatosed myself somehow. Maybe a few weeks. A month. And then wake up and everything would seem newborn again. Or perhaps still just crap. And then i could run blindly across a road and go back to sleep.
I bought these pills the other day, for insomnia relief. Unfortunately they are only homeopathic crap, so they're not sleeping pills. I think perhaps they did help me sleep the other night.
I've been reading stuff and getting depressed again lately. Sad.
It's hard being happy these days...

Teehee

2005-10-31T16:59:00.000+11:00

After waiting patiently for him to come and get it
He came on through and asked me if I wanted to get with him
I knew I had my mind made up from the very beginning
Won't miss this opportunity so you and me could feel it

Mr Tambourine Man

2005-10-31T08:42:00.000+11:00

I just had a dream i got banned from ever returning to Parramatta Westfield's because the security guard found Panadol in my backpack.

I woke up and wasn't sure if it was real or a dream until i realised that i don't have a mountain bike, and i don't wear a backpack.

Maybe i'm sad.

Echidna Pie

2005-10-27T02:15:00.000+10:00

In Ancient Greek mythology Echidna was a hideous she-creature who got with another beast by the name of Typhon and gave birth to a whole array of baddies. She had a beautiful nymph's head, but her body was that of a serpent. Zeus spared her and her children's lives as a challenge to future heroes, what a bum aye? As if he needs to endanger the world just to test his pets...

Anyway, as i said, she gave birth to some meanies:

The Nemean Lion, which was killed by Hercules in particularly cool fashion. The Lion's skin was so tough that Hercules' arrows couldn't pierce it, and so Hercules clubbed it over the head, stunning the beast. Hercules then abandoned all his weapons and wrapped his big, manly hands around the Lion's neck, and strangled it to death. Using the Lion's own claws, Hercules was able to remove the skin which he wore as a suit of armour, further adding to his incredible strength.

Another of Echidna's children was Cerberus, a three-headed dog that guarded the entrance to Hades. Hercules again managed to bring the dog up to the surface of the living world for a while, as this was one of his Twelve Labours. In Roman mythology, the Trojan prince Aeneas and Psyche were able to pacify the dog with honey cake.

Another child of Echidna's was Ladon, who was a hundred-headed dragon.

Then there was Chimera, who had the head of a lion, the body of a she-goat and the tail of a dragon. Nice.

Sphinx was another child of Echidna. She had the head of a woman on a winged lion's body, and sat upon a rock asking the riddle:
"What has four legs in the morning, two legs in the noontime and three legs in the evening?"
She of course strangled those who could not correctly answer the riddle, until Oedipus came along and answered that it was man who crawls on all fours in infancy, walks on two legs later and finally walks with the aid of a walking stick in old age. Sphinx was so mortified that someone was able to correctly answer her riddle that she fell off her rock and perished. Oedipus went on to marry his mother, having earlier killed his father in a roadside argument- all unbeknownst to him as he had been abandoned by his family at an early age and raised by others. He eventually figured out the crimes he had committed and took his eyes out with a brooch pin.

The last child of Echidna i am going to mention is that called Hydra, who was a nine-headed dragon with a twist. If you chop off one head two grow in its place. Hercules again was the one who slew this beast, it seems eight of the heads were able to regenerate and the ninth was immortal, so he burned eight of them and left the immortal one under a rock.

Itch Pitch Son Of A Stitch

2005-10-26T19:47:00.000+10:00

Sooky pooky hate this stupid world right now cos things give me the poos and i don't really feel like being pooed on at this precise instatmaybe later when i am in a better mood and poo seems more interesting than it seems right now when i cant stand the smell or sitght of iti hate looking at stuff that gets me all nakry or narky or whatever but then sometime s i guess a mans jus gotta do what he gotta do because hes not a girl ahaha that doesnt tmeajke make sense gotta do something about thsi stupid mood sometime dosoon think it time for some wowowiwe and then i be a happy echidna mannquequin i like not having to bother going back and correcting my mistakes its actually very invigorating cos i am usually the tone who does not allow the presence of incorrect grammarsyntaxpunctuation to go unpunished by my rigid hands and the brandishing of heavy clubbing objexcts i hate some people but not that much that it bothers mer all the time cos otherwise i d be a psycho waiting to kill everyone and not that mer because usually i can be a happy chump but not right now i am a miserrable chumpy wumpy and i no have no skunky sigh sigh sigh cant blame people for not picking up scraps from their past and chucking them in the bin c an you i dunno i tyhink perhaps you can because i slash you slash we have all done it before i dunno i dunno dunnnnno stupid transient mood swingers swing low sweet chariot coming forth to carry me home is where the heart is where i end and i also begin it's it'd be weird to die in my house i think but then where else am i gonna do it i have always been here so i guess it is an approproritatea venue for a passinf passage passing pasyta hate hate hate hahtahthatehahtsahtahhate feeling so small and knowing in my head that i got no reason to think that way biut then again what can i do to kick the thoughts in my head out i dunno maybe a pessary hahaha and then my head will never get prgnant i think maybe i meant pessuary ah well i guess i am really dumb cos i dunno the proper names for archaic contraceptive devices not that i have myself ever had the need to protect myself from inese,mination or anything eew very ape man am i i hate tyhat im not a stupid monkey but yet it is somethibng that i am to be blame for perpetuating arrrgh stupid monkey gooch is me i hhhatatate reminding myself of what i try to forget

The Japanese Gardens And The Deadly Duo

2005-10-26T16:43:00.000+10:00

KATankerous KATerpillar and the ALIen ALIgator went to the Japanese Gardens on the weekend, and apparently they fed birds and other crazy stuff. Here's a glimpse into their manic mulligrubbin' malarkeys...

ALIgator did some gay posing, because he looks grand regardless of the gesticulations...

These guys are the coolest. I usually chase them through the scrub, but unfortunately they were hanging out in the wide open, and there's no real challenge in that...

The beast that terrorised KATerpillar. This particular KATerpillar will never morph into one of these critters. I like the word Chrysalis.

Goose!

Geese!

Swan!

Funkadelic Fotos

2005-10-26T16:24:00.000+10:00

This is one of my favourite pictures, 'cos i reckon i look like a Great White Shark. How cool is that?

Here i am becoming a desert arab.

I like this photo 'cos it looks i am slapping the taste out of a kangaroo's mouth.

Flower Poof

2005-10-26T16:18:00.000+10:00

When i got my camera a few years back i took to taking gay pictures of flowers, basically 'cos i was intrigued with the macro zoom function. Anyway, here are some of the fruitiest...

Turtle Man!!!

2005-10-24T02:36:00.000+10:00

I went over and met Kat's parents last Monday, or was it Tuesday? I think it was Monday...
It was pretty cool, they were very cordial and i tried saying little things in Cantonese here and there, acting a bit like a dancing circus bear, i guess...
Anyway, Kat's mum gave me some herbal jelly she said is good for pimples, so i took it. It's black gluggy stuff and has a sharp smell/taste. Thing is, i really liked it and have since bought some more. It features some pretty cool ingredients:

Panax Quinquefolia: This is American Ginseng, and apparently will do wondrous things for my sexual performance. Bet she wasn't expecting that one...

Tortoise Plastron: Ooh, you say. Tortoise something or other herb. Except it isn't. It's the abdominal part of the tortoise. Yummo.

Top 10 Dumb Things Bush Said in 2004

2005-10-20T02:22:00.000+10:00

I thought that this was funny, silly bugger...

#10: "I want you to know. Karyn is with us. A West Texas girl, just like me." -Nashville, Tenn., May 27, 2004
#9: "Then you wake up at the high school level and find out that the illiteracy level of our children are appalling." -Washington, D.C., Jan. 23, 2004
#8: "Free societies are hopeful societies. And free societies will be allies against these hateful few who have no conscience, who kill at the whim of a hat." -Washington, D.C., Sept. 17, 2004
#7: "I want to thank the astronauts who are with us, the courageous spacial entrepreneurs who set such a wonderful example for the young of our country." -Washington, D.C. Jan. 14, 2004
#6: "We will make sure our troops have all that is necessary to complete their missions. That's why I went to the Congress last September and proposed fundamental - supplemental funding, which is money for armor and body parts and ammunition and fuel." -Erie, Pa., Sept. 4, 2004
#5: "After standing on the stage, after the debates, I made it very plain, we will not have an all-volunteer army. And yet, this week - we will have an all-volunteer army!" -Daytona Beach, Fla., Oct. 16, 2004
#4: "Tribal sovereignty means that; it's sovereign. I mean, you're a - you've been given sovereignty, and you're viewed as a sovereign entity. And therefore the relationship between the federal government and tribes is one between sovereign entities." -Washington, D.C., Aug. 6, 2004
#3: "I hear there's rumors on the Internets that we're going to have a draft." -second presidential debate, St. Louis, Mo., Oct. 8, 2004
#2: "Too many good docs are getting out of the business. Too many OB-GYNs aren't able to practice their love with women all across this country." -Poplar Bluff, Mo., Sept. 6, 2004
#1: "Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we." -Washington, D.C., Aug. 5, 2004

Mmkay

2005-10-18T00:17:00.000+10:00

"Computer games do not affect children. If Pac Man affected children we'd all be running around darkened rooms, listening to repetitive electronic music and munching magic pills" - Kristian Wilson, Nintendo - 1988

Bale up the Christians!

2005-10-11T22:21:00.000+10:00

I am currently watching The Machinist.

Christian Bale normally weighs about 80 odd kilograms, lean and muscular.

In this movie he weighs under 55.

Now that's dedicating yourself to your role...

one tough cock

2005-10-11T22:04:00.000+10:00

So i went on a little expedition to get some choc chip ice cream, and while i was at the supermarket i decided to act all hard to the apple core and stick my puffed up chest out and walk along like a brooding rooster/pigeon lord. What i didn't realise is that i did it for so long that my chest got sore from the flexing and straining and i got breathless. Main thing is that i looked dangerous, which i am sure i did.

I was standing in queue waiting to pay and all around me were asians so i was noticing how much larger than everyone else i was. I looked over to the next line, which seemed to be full of wogs and immediately i realised they were all of a similar size to me.

So i went back to looking at the asians and feeling straight up gangster.

Feline Flavour Fever

2005-10-11T20:26:00.000+10:00

Kat asked for something lovey-dovey to explain the flames of desire kindling inside the very depths of my heart. So here it is, my love poem:

Cat Barbecue.

The kitten sizzled all up in my grill.

I rode up along side her with my knife and fork.

I ate of her my fill.

She knows i can't eat pork.

But cat is ok, cat is all good.

With Worcestershire sauce and a rosemary sprig,

There was a cook-out in my hood,

And i ate like a pig.

Although i got a furball in my throat,

And tongue was sprinkled with hair,

It beat eating goat,

And i didn't really care.

So i ate my feline friend to my heart's content,

And filled my belly to the brim,

Until i was completely spent,

And my figure no longer trim.

Oh cat barbecue,

My very favourite meal.

On your cud i could forever chew

And flap about happy like a seal.

Happy eleventh of october everyone.............................................................

chim chiminee chim chiminee chim chim cheree

2005-10-11T19:46:00.000+10:00

*Went to an Occupational Health and Safety training session today, where the lecturer joked that we needn't worry about something, as we're not terrorists... and then went "are we, Ali?"

*There was a huge fight on my street today... about 100 or so people... eight or ten police cars... it was between my house and my grandpa's, which was where we were trying to get to for dinner. We drove around the block where a policeman sitting on a motorcycle let us in after we explained our predicament.

*I put the charm on the old ladies at the training session today and had them all giggling early on in the morning.

*Fasting has been pretty easy thus far this year.

*I now own a unit in Granville. If you want to rent it you can, but not for a good few months... Ehe.

*Calcifer from Howl's Moving Castle is a cool mofo.

*In a few weeks time i'll probably have no idea what the above line means.

*I had a bad craving for choc chip ice cream today... it was weird, i was sitting in on this lecture and i was imagining the individual chips amongst the creamy vanilla. I prefer the choc chips in the hundreds and thousands shape, rather than the little speckly stuff you can get.

*I found tomatoes growing at work and got excited.

*Took Kat to get Greek food again last night (post-dinner-dinner) and the place was closed, so we drove to Newtown where i realised i didn't want anything to eat in that suburb so we just went back to Auburn, so really there was about 50 unnecessary kilometres of travel...

*Futon fever forever.

Let's Get Retarded

2005-09-27T18:01:00.000+10:00

I was briefly watching the news as they reported on a conference in Canberra where State and Federal government or whatever agreed to enforce new anti-terrorism laws allowing police unprecedented powers to fight this intangible enemy... perhaps it's being a muslim and all that spurs me to cringe at these things, but i dislike the idea of losing civil liberties as a response to crime... so this spurred me to say:

"Why was the decision unanimous? It's retarded!"

To which my Mum replied in song:

"Let's get retarded!"

She's so hip hop.

From whence her wisdom emanates

2005-09-26T23:54:00.000+10:00

While i was telling Kat about my mate's antenatal classes he's been attending with his pregnant wife she related to me the following pearl of wisdom:

"I remember watching a video of childbirth in Biology, or maybe it was dissecting a rat"

Hmmph

2005-09-25T17:55:00.000+10:00

Stupid eels...

Tied my hairs back and then cried....... He lied.........

2005-09-22T20:11:00.000+10:00

My sister just came in and tied my hair back....

It looks weird to me, for some reason...

The Horse Whisperer

2005-09-22T19:00:00.000+10:00

Today i was smacked in the ribs by a junkie.

I don't think it was intentional.

And he was my patient.

So i wasn't allowed to smack him back.

Poo.

Later on, as i was ploughing through my workload (cos Thu was starting later and relieving me and it's not nice to leave huge workloads for the next person) we got to this man who tried to jump off the table, so i lovingly spoke to him in lowered tones until the beast was subdued. Then later on we had this asian dude, who refused to drink the last of three drinks he was required to drink for the scan (probably because they taste gross) so once again i used my skill of whispering in tongues. I announced to Thu that i was a horse whisperer as i gave him the yucky drink. Thu asked him if he spoke Mandarin or Cantonese, because we can program the machine to speak different languages, but she couldn't get an answer out of him. Once again i spoke in my tongues and managed to coax that he spoke Cantonese out off him. Thu said wow, you are a horse whisperer. I then told him i was lebanese in Cantonese. And he said, yes, lebanese.

I knew dating Kat would have its perks...

A Change Is Gonna Come...

2005-08-30T17:33:00.000+10:00

*Lost my phone the other night... Not too worried, except for the fact that all my numbers and 200+ messages are gone, plus all my silly photos... I ordered a cheap Sony Ericsson T290i to replace it.

*I seem to have a new ailment every day! Haha, i'm so old.

*Mum is in Cairns, i think.

*I feel smart at work because we have this new machine and i am one of few who can operate it... but soon everyone else will learn it and i'll go back to feeling dumb.

*Sam Cooke has a sexy voice.

*I bought four punnets of strawberries for $5 today!!! Wowsers! And they are little sweet ones, rather than big fat ones jam packed full of steroids. Yum...

*Somebody took to drawing a pair of devil horns on a photo of a lady at work. For some reason everyone is blaming me. Haha, i don't even think i was at work at the time...

*Last night on the net i came up with a zillion nicknames for Nhu, with the aid of Catherine...

Captain Fuzzy Faced Lemur says:
we are coming up with new nicknames for you

Captain Fuzzy Faced Lemur says:
nhu's shoes

Captain Fuzzy Faced Lemur says:
nhu's clues

Captain Fuzzy Faced Lemur says:
nhu's blues

Captain Fuzzy Faced Lemur says:
screw nhu

Captain Fuzzy Faced Lemur says:
nhu's zoo

Captain Fuzzy Faced Lemur says:
nhu's crew

Captain Fuzzy Faced Lemur says:
kanganhu

Captain Fuzzy Faced Lemur says:
oranhutan

Captain Fuzzy Faced Lemur says:
nhu's spew

Captain Fuzzy Faced Lemur says:
nhutered and spayed

Captain Fuzzy Faced Lemur says:
salamanders and nhuts

Captain Fuzzy Faced Lemur says:
nhudie run

Captain Fuzzy Faced Lemur says:
teenage nhutant ninja turtles

Captain Fuzzy Faced Lemur says:
nhumothorax (medical condition)

Captain Fuzzy Faced Lemur says:
nhuclear bomb

Captain Fuzzy Faced Lemur says:
nhu kids on the block

Captain Fuzzy Faced Lemur says:
nhu's flu

Captain Fuzzy Faced Lemur says:
nhutrons and protons

Captain Fuzzy Faced Lemur says:
nhuisance

Captain Fuzzy Faced Lemur says:
nhumerical order

Captain Fuzzy Faced Lemur says:
nhuspaper mama everyday

Captain Fuzzy Faced Lemur says:
nhulyweds

poo @ nhu's says:
Oh my god!! haha i was in the other room and was like what is that beeping..

poo @ nhu's says:
haha u guys are nuts! there is so many there i cant remember them all!

poo @ nhu's says:
hahah

Captain Fuzzy Faced Lemur says:
i'll blog it

Captain Fuzzy Faced Lemur says:
i made most

Captain Fuzzy Faced Lemur says:
cos i am a genhuius

Captain Fuzzy Faced Lemur says:
haha

Captain Fuzzy Faced Lemur says:
i rock

poo @ nhu's says:
ahaha that is a good one

Captain Fuzzy Faced Lemur says:
kat made a few of them

Captain Fuzzy Faced Lemur says:
inhuit

Captain Fuzzy Faced Lemur says:
like an eskimo...

Captain Fuzzy Faced Lemur says:
keanhu reeves

poo @ nhu's says:
hahaha

Captain Fuzzy Faced Lemur says:
anyways, off to watch simpsons

poo @ nhu's says:
very creative guys!

Captain Fuzzy Faced Lemur says:
i'll post them

poo @ nhu's says:
ok..

poo @ nhu's says:
laters

poo @ nhu's says:
wait whats ur fav? should i change my name?

Captain Fuzzy Faced Lemur says:
make yours "Ali"

Captain Fuzzy Faced Lemur says:
to confuse ppl

Captain Fuzzy Faced Lemur says:
i'll make mine "Nhu"

poo @ nhu's says:
Okay! haha

Captain Fuzzy Faced Lemur says:
ok later, Ali!

poo @ nhu's says:
hey how do i change the name??

Captain Fuzzy Faced Lemur says:
haha nevermind

poo @ nhu's says:
Bye Nhu

Captain Fuzzy Faced Lemur says:
tools and then options, btw

Captain Fuzzy Faced Lemur says:
later

Songs about my bum

2005-08-25T03:35:00.000+10:00

My bum collects lint from my trousers,
And that's the way i like it.

-Ali's rendition of Ben Lee's Catch My Disease

My stupid ass, has got me in trouble...

-Ali's remake of John Mayer's My Stupid Mouth

I have been hearing songs about my butt in the music i have been listening to. In fact, all i do these days is contemplate my bum. My poor bum. My in-need-of-an-operation bum.

Well actually it's above my bum. And it needs to be cut out. I have a sinus. A little tunnel. And it got infected. And it hurts. But it's ok now, the feeling has subsided for the time being.

But nevertheless, it shall be removed. If you happen to bump into me, more than likely i'll explain it to you in great detail.

I went to the doctor's the other day, and i had to lean over his little table and pull my pants down and feel like a fool. And i couldn't heap but smile as the doctor poked and prodded. Not that i enjoyed it, more that i was thinking that my life had hit an all-time low, and i was resigned to this horrible feeling.

But we all get over this type of thing...

I think this year has been one of the worst in terms if my health, i have been sick far too many times. Alas, i digress...

Meanwhile things have been pretty darn good for me otherwise. I have been eating more healthily, and lesser portions, and feeling all the more better for it. I have been more energetic, because i have been eating less. Hmm.. ok, here's Ali's strange theories on food and appetite:

1. The less i eat, the less i need to eat.
2. The less i eat, the more energy i have.
3. The less i eat, the slower i eat.
4. The less i eat, the more likely i am to eat something healthy by choice.

I have really taken to eating vegan food lately.

My Prince Albert

2005-08-09T22:49:00.000+10:00

I just messaged Albert, and one thing led to another...
The Amazing Monkey Man says:
u are going away
The Amazing Monkey Man says:
that is what they say
The Amazing Monkey Man says:
they say you're gay
The Amazing Monkey Man says:
and look upon you in dismay
The Amazing Monkey Man says:
i say it's ok
The Amazing Monkey Man says:
be that way
The Amazing Monkey Man says:
i wish you could stay
The Amazing Monkey Man says:
in australia so we could play
The Amazing Monkey Man says:
in the hay
The Amazing Monkey Man says:
down by the bay
The Amazing Monkey Man says:
maybe when you return, in may...

I was awaiting a reply, and what i got was:
Red Albert says:
im not returning in may
Red Albert says:
ur gay

To which i replied:
The Amazing Monkey Man says:
yeah, but it rhymes

But soooooorrrrrry, cos Albert goes:
Red Albert says:
well its not correct

The Lethargic Punch-Up With The Tempestuous Wall

2005-08-06T17:28:00.000+10:00

Ok, so the title doesn't make too much sense...

My Tempestuous Relationship With The Wall That Resulted In A Lethargic Punch-Up.

This morning i awoke for work and walked on over to the bathroom only to realise that it was not at all vacant, it was occupied by the mother who had only the night before warned me not to wake her as i readied for work as Saturday is the only frigging day of the week she can sleep in, uninterrupted by the troubles of the world and it would only be common courtesy of me to respect this request and fulfill my part as a loving son and shut the fuck up.

So why was she in MY bathroom?

I sooked and flayed like a little prissy bitch, because at these ungodly hours i am in fact a numero uno prima donna hoochie mama, and then i huffed my way over to the laundry to shower in the freezing cold. I probably would have done just as well to turn on the hose and romp around in my nothingness in the backyard. Or the front yard. My street is full of lonely people who could do well with the sight of my imposing manly man-ness.

Or not.

I digress. So i huffed into the laundry and on my merry way i shoulder charged the door jamb. Not on purpose of course, this is just the sort of thing one does while slightly inebriated with the crust of fatigue. So i swore and swore and yelped and then i punched and punched the wall. So now i have two oww-ies. My shoulder is bruised/scratched and now my knuckle is split. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

Meanwhile this old lady at work (one of my patients) kept saying i was very nice.

Oh and i have seen my snapshot in the Liverpool Champion newspaper (now i know why it's called the "Champion" hahaha) and i look great!

As one of the doctors said:

"I like your picture!"

"Thanks"

"You look like Jesus"

Here we go again...

Aloosh the pimped out protein shake

2005-08-06T10:57:00.000+10:00

I am surrounded by the weaker sex. Perhaps i should clarify that as the gentler sex, or the fairer sex, otherwise i might have a mutiny on my hands and all i'll be able to do to keep their talons from tearing the skin off my bones is shout help, no, i'm full of chocolate! It's about 11am and here i am at work, teetering on the brink of insanity for i am seemingly forever imprisoned in this vortex that is my workplace. Admittedly i am exaggerating extravagantly, in fact i have not been too busy and all the girls are nice anyway... Isn't it sad that i feel the need to create some drama in my life due to the banality of my mundane existence? Moribund i...

I have been thinking a lot lately- which usually adds up to bad news for the boy who can analyse and analyse and then analyse some more until his brain cells begin to lyse and lyse and then lyse some more because i seem to notice all these horrid little details that went unnoticed until my brainstorming. For instance i have been thinking that if i am to get a home loan for an investment property as i am thinking of doing then the first $16,000 i pay off in the first year will be nothing more than interest. So i am planning on paying something like $30,000 in the first year (which means i will have to seriously cut back on the chocolate almonds) but in effect i will only chop about $15,000 from my loan. Oh, the humanity!

I have some mild heartburn at present. Mildly annoying. And all because i ate a stupid choc chip muffin for breakfast, oh the woes of not having anyone to pack me a hearty lunch... So i had said choc chip muffin and a bottle of tropical fruit juice as i was in the mood for some island loving, and even sat down in the tea room to read an article about some island called Moorea near Tahiti. Strangely enough the astral plane travelling qualities of the muffin and juice concoction weren't very potent and i don't recall dipping my toes in any tepid aquiline waters. Shame, that.

I think i might go have a bit of a read, as my workplace isn't seeming too busy at the moment.

Ciao!

Aloosh the poetic ornithologist...

2005-08-05T20:38:00.000+10:00

Today i built for you a love nest high amongst the canopy of our forest,
i gathered shards of stiff plastic, blades of withered grass and slinking tendrils from vines
And weaved and interlaced the individual components into a bowl-shape,
All the while cementing it together with the sticky glues of my salivation.
I give all of my being to creating this nest, lending it the same tireless devotion i paid to finding the location.
For weeks and weeks i scoured the terrain, looking for a suitable place to reside.
I had a checklist of criteria the habitat had to meet. It had to be free from predators.
Close to sustenance. Be privy to a warming morning sunrise from the Eastern horizon.
So i found a location i considered perfect, and here i began preparations for our little nest.
I toiled and troubled, and if i had had a cauldron i am sure it would have bubbled.
So i weaved and i sewed with my little beak, all the while warbling a song for you...
Today i built for you a love nest, so that you might rest your tired feathers.

The Sex Shop

2005-08-05T02:50:00.000+10:00

A few weeks back i had to go to the dentist to get my check-up done- before i go on, isn't it weird how you get that super clean feeling after you go to the dentist, and all you seem to do for hours afterwards is flick your tongue against the scratchy surface of your newly cleaned teeth all the while causing inflammatory damage to your tender tongue, although somehow the whole while this is unbeknownst to you so you don't realise until sometime the next day when you realise your tongue is ulcerated and you ponder this unhappy situation blearily as you don't at all know what you could have possibly done to cause such discomfort when all of a sudden as if you are struck with the lightning of clarity you realise that for the past twenty four hours your twisty tongue has been lapping against the scratching post that is your incisors.

Anyway, i had the check-up done- and boy did he give me a thorough scrubbing! Oh yeah, that's my other new thing, i am trying to replace all my icky-poo swear words with exclamations of "gosh" and "golly" and "wowsers" and "geez" and "oh boy" and "deary me" and "jinkies" and "jeepers", i think it sounds silly and i want to sound silly. Although Vanessa tells me that i don't need to start saying things like that to sound retarded.

So he scrubbed and scrubbed, all the while the long tendrils of my fingers are curling up upon themselves and i slither in agonising discomfort- most of the time i am not at all bothered by dental work, although this time he took his little scrapy thing and dug around underneath my gums, where their meaty flaps join with the tooth. It was actually quite torturous. Not in an unbearable way, and i kept commanding myself to stand firm and stop being a sissy boy and shut up and take it like a real man and stop whining to your mama and don't be a cry baby. Hmm, i have been reading a novel and the author goes on rambling much in the same manner as i seem to be doing. Hehe, i am a chameleon, i am a doppleganger, i am the master of disguises, the genius of camouflage, the top cat copy cat.

So i thought i was being a sook until he told me to rinse and spit and when i did so the basin became awash with a crimson sea of my haemoglobin. My oxygen carrying red blood cells. My germ fighting white blood cells. My coagulating platelets.

I cursed and cursed him under my breath, making aaah and errrr and uggghh sounds as i cursed the whore mongering haemaphrodite with his infinite tools of destruction, his sinewy hands with dexterous fingers mastered in the fine arts of oral violence. The bitch's son whose perverted fetish was the anguish of man, me strapped down in his rapist's chair totally succumbed to his evil doings of bringing grown men to tears of anguish while all the while he hums along to the soothing classical music that plays overhead. The sick fucker so meticulous in his work of the devil, relishing in my agony, finding gratification of the most sexual manner in my lack of solace, mercilessly scrape scrape scraping away at my decay, de-plaquing me as if readying me for his museum of wax horrors, a formalin dipped head adorning his manor walls.

Anyway, that's not at all the point of this story...

The point is that i took Kat with me, as she is a great accompaniment to all random acts of physical mutilation, and on the way we were in a little bit of a rush, so we zigged and zagged our way to the dentist's office, but it hadn't been a while since i had visited and it seemed my memory of the exact location was somewhat foggy. It was a tiny doorway that led upstairs i said, and off we went. We came upon a small doorway and i said, aha, here we are, and pulled her by the hand and marched forward. Kat pulled back and asked if i was sure, and i said sure i was sure, but then i looked up and realised that i was about to walk into an adult store. I loudly exclaimed, hang on this isn't my dentist and blushed a little and then scurried off in embarrassment, Kat in tow. It seems my identical dentist's office was up the road on the next block.

Meanwhile, Catherine and i have taken to drawing each other's portraits:

What I Have Been Up To...

2005-07-29T23:53:00.000+10:00

To whomsoever smashed my car window...

2005-07-29T23:45:00.000+10:00

Golly! It's a wog!

2005-07-29T22:53:00.000+10:00

So... my hair is coming along nicely now... getting quite long... i don't care too much about how scruffy i look... today i walked into a KFC with my hair parted down the middle in a strange puffy boof... i looked a right dork...

If you happen to live in the Liverpool area you should check out the next edition of the Liverpool Champion... i should be in there holding my big tube... x-ray tube! I was interviewed as radiography is apparently the job of the week... and apparently they wanted me to represent the occupation... silly buggers...

Some silly nong decided to hurt me in a very bad way... through my precious little car... some mongrel smashed my passenger side window as my car was parked on the street... sometime between 3:30pm and 5:00pm on a Monday- parked outside a high school and across the road from a church... so, umm... don't park your cars in Liverpool...

The car is currently sitting in my garage... awaiting repair... which will coincide with the first service... next Wednesday...

Oh yeah, i am considering buying a unit.

'Spose it's a good thing...

2005-07-20T05:23:00.000+10:00

He won't let me do it.

Me Caesar, you Brutus

2005-07-18T14:26:00.000+10:00

Ever felt that the world is conspiring against you?

Last night i saw "Tarnation" at the Dendy (i also finally became a Club Dendy member). It's basically a bunch of home videos spliced together to create an autobiography of the producer, Jonathan Caouette. I guess it goes a little deeper than that, as it also chronicles the lives of those around him.

It tells of how his mother Renee was a great child beauty (she was) who did some modelling and tv advertisements. When she was about 12 years old she fell off the roof and landed on her feet without bending her knees (which to me sounds like she would have busted her spine from the transmitted shock) and thus was paralysed for a long period. Her parents decided her vegetation was all in her head, and proceeded to take her to get shock therapy treatments twice a week for two years. This of course messed her head up considerably. She still remained a beauty, though.

The next few years she spends in and out of mental institutions. She eventually falls in love and marries, but her husband is unable to cope (i think they meant with her family and her episodes) and leaves, not knowing that Renee is pregnant. Renee gives birth to Jonathan. At one stage, Renee takes Jonathan, who is only a child, leaves for Chicago with no money and nowhere to go (they lived in Texas). Some man in Chicago picks them up off the street and rapes her in front of Jonathan(!!!). She wires her parents and asks for money to return, but on the bus trip back they are kicked off as Renee is disruptive to other passengers. Soon Renee is jailed and Jonathan is taken into foster care, where he is beaten and abused by his parents. Eventually his grandparents get custody of him.

To cut it a bit short, over the next few years Jonathan is himself institutionalised, attempts suicide often and tries drugs. Eventually he moves to New York, but his mother is still a part of his life, and they speak on the phone and she even visits. He also finally meets his father. Eventually his mother has an overdose on the lithium she is taking for her depression, and she is never quite the same after that.

It is a good movie!

Oh, he's gay. I found it really interesting how he knew from a very early age that he was gay, like perhaps twelve years old, or maybe even earlier.

The movie has lots of really cool references to things from the eighties and such.

In true Ali fashion, while i thought the movie was very interesting (Jonathan seems to have been a great actor from a very early age) it is a song from the movie that remains stuck in my head. I have been playing it over and over. It is by a group called the Magnetic Fields.

"Strange Powers"

On the ferris wheel

looking out on Coney Island

Under more stars than

there are prostitutes in Thailand

Our hair in the air,

our lips blue from cotton candy

When we kiss it feels

like a flying saucer landing

And I can't sleep

'cause you got strange powers

You're in my dreams

Strange powers.

In Las Vegas where

the electric bills are staggering

the decor hog wild

and the entertainment saccharin

What a golden age,

what a time of right and reason

The consumer's king

and unhappiness is treason

And I can't sleep
'cause you got strange powers
You're in my dreams
Strange powers.

The sun runs down like honey

The moon pours down like mercury

The stars fall down like money

You come back to me

And I can't sleep
'cause you got strange powers
You're in my dreams
Strange powers.

The cheek of it...

2005-07-14T01:14:00.000+10:00

I just read that the U.S. National Guard had fliers suggesting that the United States execute Islamic terrorists with bullets dipped in pig's blood, to deny them entry to heaven. If you're a muslim, as i am, this is in very bad taste and offensive.

I don't get these guys, a governmental organisation dedicated to protecting a nation doesn't need to foster ideas insensitive to a major religion.

They also had a flier saying "Peace, the old fashioned way" which depicted a bomber with the wings and tail forming a peace sign. Yeah, that's it, we'll all find peace through dropping a load of bombs and killing people...

http://www.iraqbodycount.net/database/

So the civilian body count in Iraq from U.S. military intervention sits somewhere around 25,000. I don't think this includes deaths caused by infighting, which has resulted from the replacing of the government with the interim one, or whatever they call it.

http://www.cursor.org/stories/paktia.htm

The way i understand it, if you bomb someone, they usually get pissed off and bomb someone back.

I hate wars.

The Leather Man

2005-07-11T13:39:00.000+10:00

I am the leather man,

There's nothing you can do.

My arm turned into leather

And it's all because of you.

You fell asleep on my arm

And now it has turned blue.

I am the leather man,

There's nothing you can do...

The above is the song i made up after i woke up after sleeping for a few hours with Kat lying on my shoulder. Umm, i was lying on my back and Kat was using my arm and shoulder as her neck rest. I asked her if my arm felt like leather, because it felt cold and tough to me, and she said it sort of did.

Kat then sang into her pillow about being a lie machine detector, as i had told her my arm was gonna drop off. Apparently she used a country voice.

My arm is not really going to drop off.

Aloosh ponders

2005-07-10T01:29:00.000+10:00

Why does the sound of a shredding vocal cord sound so good?

Ali The Second Fiddle

2005-07-10T00:12:00.000+10:00

Knowing that i'll never be anything better than second best is a pain in the fucking arse...

Now that that's out of the way, here i sit, feeling like a bit of a girl in my necklace and bracelet, although i do have a rather thick beard, so i guess that compensates... or rather is my saving grace.

I was washing the dishes a little while ago (ok, perhaps i am a bit of a girl) and i started thinking about my death. This isn't really that unusual for me, as it is something that i guess i think about quite often. I sort of imagine how it will happen, and when. Most times i imagine it to be in a car accident, and usually sometime in my mid-twenties somewhere... I guess that's why last night's dream was so freaky.

Anyway, so i was washing the dishes, and thinking about my death again, and then something dawned on me.

I was supposed to be named Tarek (or Tariq, which is another spelling, that i prefer) but just before i was born my father was in the car with his younger brother Ali, when a drink driver ran through a red light and hit them. My father was comatosed for a while, and his brother didn't live through the crash. Because of this i was instead named Ali.

My uncle had long curly brown hair, much like mine.

In fact, there's a picture of him in my sister's room, and people sometimes think that the picture is of me.

My uncle Ali, holding my older sister, Elizabeth.

While i was washing those pesky dishes i asked my Mum the following question:

"Mum, how old was Uncle Ali when he died?"

"I'm not too sure, about 27 i think..."

So there you go, the man i was named after, whom i look remarkably similar to, died in a car crash at about the same age i always have envisioned my own departure.

Now i know that the chances are that i will live somewhat longer than that, and perhaps will pass in some entirely different manner, but i dunno, lately i am beginning to believe in these strange occurrences more and more. It is a family thing. I told Emma (who is back from overseas) about my dream last night with the car crash, and she reminded me that a long while back, when i was out, my mother said to her that she didn't feel right. Later my brother's friend phoned and Emma answered, and mum was in the background asking what was wrong almost as soon as she answered. Sure enough, my brother and i had been in a car accident. Apparently she also ha d a feeling when my father had his accident with his brother.

My mother told me of another of her premonitions recently. She bought a ticket for some contest to win a holiday stay at a cottage or something, and she said she knew straight away that she was going to win.

Emma was telling me about her premonition, but i can't really remember it now...

Oh yeah, mum did win her holiday...

psychic loverboy

2005-07-09T14:21:00.000+10:00

My mother told me that perhaps i have inherited her sense of ESP.

I watched "Bewitched" with Kat last night. I don't think either of us liked it too much. I fell asleep. Although i must say it wasn't as bad as i was expecting. I liked that it was harmless, and i didn't have to think too hard to understand what was going on. Having said that, i won't watch it again.

Afterwards we went back to my place, and talked for a while... Later on, probably around 2am or so i fell asleep. I guess Kat must have been watching me, or perhaps i just twitched really hard... I started having a dream, and in my dream i was driving down Park Rd in Auburn, when all of a sudden the traffic just stopped instantly. I was driving behind a truck with a long trailer, and i slammed on my brakes and turned the wheel to the right, but it wasn't enough and i slammed into the back of the truck. That's when i jumped and woke up.

Kat asked me what the matter was, and i told her my dream...

A little bit later we decided i had better take her home, as it was already pretty late, so we hopped into my car. Now, after you just have a dream where you smash your car horribly (oh yeah, that was the thing, although i never saw how hurt i was, i understood that i was badly injured) you tend to take it rather easy. So i drove slowly and cautiously to Kat's, as the road was wet and slippery anyway. As we drove down Olympic Drive in Lidcombe we saw flashing lights and then we saw about 3 or 4 fire trucks, some ambulances and some police cars trying to extricate this car that was totally smashed. After i dropped Kat off i drove past again and this time i noticed that the ambulances were leaving and that the car was ripped in half, and that there were photgraphers (not sure if it was the media or police photgraphers) taking pictures. On the way home i drove past more police cars speeding along.

When i got home it occurred to me that the accident probably happened around the same time that i dreamt about my car accident.

Of a boy with tingly limbs and a tendency to pass out...

2005-07-05T19:37:00.000+10:00

Ali's health update...

Ok, back in high school i used to often get this faint feeling, as if i was about to black out... It wasn't a big deal, as it only happened like a few times a week,and i never actually fainted.

The past few days i have been feeling under the weather. Today i took to feeling like i was going to faint. And often.

I think i must have had the feeling, and felt the need to grab onto something, about fifty times today. I got it on the drive home from work, i got it in the shower.

I also get a tingling sensation of the limbs for no apparent reason. Like if i am walking or something.

Ok, just had the fainting feeling then...

I also seem to be waking up during the middle of the night with a numb arm, and then i have to grab it with the other arm and shake it until it revives.

So perhaps i am going to have a stroke.

The end.

Sowing the seeds of love.

2005-07-04T23:08:00.000+10:00

Tears For Fears.

Tears are really cool.

Well actually they are sort of warm in temperature.

But they are interesting.

Interesting like urine, which is kind of gross, until you realise that until it passes the urethra it is sterile.

Which i guess means if you could somehow bust into my ureters, and were in need of a thirst quencher you couldn't really go wrong with my pee.

Except that pee is also warm, and probably wouldn't be that refreshing.

In some cultures to pee on a tree is a beautiful thing, because you are giving of yourself to nourish the earth.

A gift of pee to your beloved one would not a nice gift make.

But back to tears, which are probably cooler than pee.

If only because a gift of your tears might indeed make a nice gift.

Because temperature-wise they are probably round-about the same.

Tears have salinity, which could be rhymed with masculinity. Although nobody really associates crying with masculinity.

How do i know?

I know this because when i was pondering talking about tears, i made a mental note to refer to it as a "back in the day" thing.

As if to say i no longer cry.

But then i guess the truth has gotten the best of me.

I like the way a tear cuts a path down your cheek.

I marvel at the sensation of there being a groove marked down your face. It zig-zags ever so slightly.

I find it peculiar that by wiping away the tear (and not the tear-trail) it feels like you have removed all visible signs of your sadness.

Or happiness.

Because some people can cry from happiness.

Which i guess is somewhat similar to those people who can pee out of fright.

I can burp on cue.

I think i can also cry on cue.

I wonder if i could pee on cue?

I am sure i could pee now.

But only because i really do need to pee.

Actually, perhaps i can't cry on cue.

I can summon tears on command.

But is that really crying?

When i cry i sob and my chest heaves, and i have trouble breathing.

And sometimes i fall to the floor.

How can sadness paralyse?

I don't think i have ever lain motionless, overwhelmed by my urge to pee.

Peeing is not really an emotion, though.

Although if someone asks how you feel, and you say pissed, they might nod understandingly.

But then i think that is something entirely different.

Tears are a powerful thing.

If i am ever arguing with someone i love, and the frustration of the argument brings them to tears, i find that this is where the argument ends.

For i am defeated.

And if i cry hard for someone. And then stop crying. And can cry no more. I can walk away.

And sometimes i can cry. And then realise it's all on me. So i tell myself to stop crying, and then i have the strength to right all my wrongs.

I don't think there's anything wrong with crying.

Or crying in public, even.

It'd probably be worse to pee in public.

What's more, it's illegal.

And It Stoned Me

2005-07-04T23:02:00.000+10:00

Have you ever had one of those moments that you really cherished...

And then found out that the person with whom you shared the moment didn't find it that special?

Sucks aye...

Mischievous Meanderings

2005-07-04T22:15:00.000+10:00

Weird stuff...

Oh! I am growing up, apparently.

Anyways, i tried to play a trick on Albert Chan today, as i had just added him to my MSN Messenger list...

Red Albert says:
who is this

Captain Cutie With His Tight Booty says:
i'll give you a series of clues, but before i scare you off, let me assure you that we are friends...

Captain Cutie With His Tight Booty says:
here we go

Captain Cutie With His Tight Booty says:
i am somewhat of a sexpot

Red Albert says:
ali?

Captain Cutie With His Tight Booty says:
damn

Red Albert says:
hehahah

Captain Cutie With His Tight Booty says:
hey dude

Captain Cutie With His Tight Booty says:
i am gonna blog that

Captain Cutie With His Tight Booty says:
so everyone knows you connect the term sexpot with me

And then i was chatting with my mate, Alex... i had been out with him and a bunch of other people on Saturday night and i met a few of his friends and relatives...

Ohkay... alexwilldo --- > juz ride me... says:
hey ali...my family friend huan wants your number bro

Ohkay... alexwilldo --- > juz ride me... says:
hahah

Captain Cutie With His Tight Booty says:
haha

Captain Cutie With His Tight Booty says:
phone number?

Ohkay... alexwilldo --- > juz ride me... says:
heheb yeah mobile

Captain Cutie With His Tight Booty says:
you have it?

Captain Cutie With His Tight Booty says:
give it to him if you do...

Captain Cutie With His Tight Booty says:
err, why does he want my number?
did i impress him with my curls?

Ohkay... alexwilldo --- > juz ride me... says:
ahhah nah i don't even have your number man

Ohkay... alexwilldo --- > juz ride me... says:
give us your number

Ohkay... alexwilldo --- > juz ride me... says:
hahah

Ohkay... alexwilldo --- > juz ride me... says:
i duno man...he just does?!?!?

Ohkay... alexwilldo --- > juz ride me... says:
hahahah

And that's all i really want to talk about now, because i am scared and confused.

And apparently a sexpot, who impresses boys with my curls.

My fave lyrics of the day:

What's upside down?

What's coated in silver?

This crucifix is my four leaf clover

Sweet blasphemy, my giving tree

It hasn't rained in years

I bring to you this sacrificial offering of virgin ears

Leave it to me, I remain free from all the comforts of home

And where that is, I'm pleased as piss to say, I'll never really know

One of these days, it's gonna catch up to you

Throwing looks like those around

One of these nights, I promise to you

I'll soon be sleeping sound

As soon as I leave town

spray and vacuum

2005-07-01T12:50:00.000+10:00

I bought Silly String yesterday. It is funny shit. I attacked my mum and my dad. And my sister, Liz. It's green string and it glows in the dark. I gave the can to my mum and told her it was new deodorant and she should try it. Unfortunately that didn't work, and she held onto the can and attempted to spray me, hitting both Liz and Kat at various stages. Eventually i decided enough was enough and made a mad dash towards her, getting sprayed a little in the process. I grabbed the can and turned it on her, and covered her. It was cool. I then vacuumed her clean.

In other news i am using a "Clean and Clear" exfoliating facial scrub, and it smells like mayonnaise. At first the smell bothered me and i figured i wouldn't use it for very long, but now i love the stuff- it works so well. Anyway, i am gonna crawl back into bed... whatever i ate yesterday has left me with stomach cramps for the past twenty hours or so.

Of burnouts and honest girls...

2005-07-01T02:23:00.000+10:00

"When are you getting home?"
"I'm coming now"

"Which suburb are you in?"

"Auburn"

"Are you at your boyfriend's house?"
"Yes"

And so it was...

I was reading an article earlier today (yesterday, really) about my car that said it was possible to disengage the electronic stability control, but annoyingly it came back on automatically when speed reached over 50km/h. This struck me, as i was certain it was only on the Megane that this happened. So after i dropped Kat off at her place i decided to try it out on the way home. The roads are wet and slippery, perfect for my test. So i crept to a stop, indicated right and flicked the switch.

Sideways.

I zoomed down towards another set of traffic lights and waited for the lights to turn green, this time it was a left handed turn.

Sideways. Accompanied by my gearknob rattling like a mofo. The spinning of the wheels was transmitting the shock up through the transmission- i'd have to catch it next time.

Another left turn, indicate and slow down, still in second gear, turn wheel and grab the gearknob.

Little bit of a slide.

I pulled over and shifted back to first. I grabbed the gearknob and dumped the clutch, and the car bolted off the line. Nice.

Further down the road i was to turn right at a roundabout, so i dropped to first and grabbed a firm grip of the gearknob and had a bit of a lairy slide. I raced down the road and switched the ESP back on for a second gear left turn, which was disposed of cleanly and quickly (it really does make a huge difference).

Pulled up at an intersection, indicated right and killed the ESP. Engaged first and dumped the clutch for a big sideways slide. You could really hear and smell the wheels spinning there.

The point? Electronic Stability Control really reigns things in, making it all much safer. So i'll leave it on mainly. However, turning it off makes the car so much more fun! Oh yeah, i was right too, the ESP does stay off until you turn it back on again.

Meanwhile earlier yesterday i received a call from one of my bosses, to tell me i was to start at ten am on Monday, rather than nine. It was funny because she told me who she was, and i was thinking to myself that i can't think of any other Polish woman who calls me up.